The Hopeful Cynic

It has been a while since the last time I jotted down my thoughts.  Honestly, I have so much to say, but don’t know where to begin, or how to say it.  The season I am in now has generated a wealth of topics and struggles that I will one day share, if the Lord permits.  

Through contemplation and examination, I have discovered that each struggle I’m battling is not isolated from the other.  No, each one is connected to the other by a common theme.   The common theme is how I view God. 

Without getting into detail here, I will say that how I view God is directly related to my relationship with my earthly father.  This has and is my greatest struggle when it comes to my view of God.  What this struggle produces in me is cynicism.  

Now, I believe God is a good God, and wants to do for you and me more than we ask or think.  Nevertheless, because of my relationship with my earthly father, I doubt that he wants to show his goodness to me.  Oh, I don’t have any problem believing he will be good for others, but when it comes to me, well, God doesn’t have time for me, especially to be involved with the details of my needs. 

Cynicism causes me to question the active goodness of God on my behalf.  When I doubt God’s active goodness on my behalf, it opens the door for greater doubts, which in turn, opens the door to other struggles.

I can’t, at least not now, give you the formula for overcoming cynicism because I am in heat of battle at this very moment.  However, I am confident that in due season, God will open the door for me to share with you in greater detail my journey from cynical heart to a hopeful heart. 

The one thing I can share with you now is my daily prayer, and ask that you pray with me.  King David prayed this prayer for himself, “Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O Lord, have helped me and comforted me.” (Psalm 86:17).  My prayer goes something like this: “Lord, give a sign of your goodness, that my cynicism may see it and be put to shame.”   I would greatly appreciate your prayers for my deliverance. 

God's Word Abounds With Truth

God’s Word abounds with truth. Whether we believe it or not, whether we like it or not. It is true. All of it. 

Yes, we’re tempted to doubt some stories in the Bible. Jonah in the whale, Samson toppling the pagan temple, God’s fire burning up Elijah’s wet wooden altar, the virgin birth of Jesus, Jesus feeding the 5,000 and my favorite: Moses and the parting of the Red Sea. I mean, how did God do that? It boggles the mind – so incredible, so awesome, so spectacular in scope. It’s been popularized again and again in movies and TV. But the biggest part of the story – the part that Hollywood always leaves out – is that in crossing the Red Sea, the people of Israel were baptized into God’s truth that day!

We can only imagine what the Israelites must’ve felt like standing on the banks of the Red Sea, watching the water engulf pharaoh’s men and seeing their dead bodies washed up on the shore (Exodus 14:30). They must’ve stood there with their mouths agape, eyes saucer-wide, holding onto each other with astonished disbelief thinking, saying: “THAT’S the God we serve?? … wow.”

I grappled with the truth of the Red Sea crossing for years, even creating plausible explanations for how it happened: maybe there was a very long, contiguous sand bar connecting the eastern shore from the west; the tide went out revealing this miracle and the Israelites crossed it. And then pharaoh’s men went across, the tide came back in and they drowned. 

Possible, right? Sure.

But that’s not what Scripture says happened. 

In Exodus, it says there were walls of water on either side, and they crossed on dry ground (Exodus 14:29) – that’s kicking-up-sand dry. And we’re not talking about a few folks skipping across an archipelago of rocks. Scripture says 600,000 men on foot, which didn’t include their wives or kiddos (Exodus 12:37). So at minimum, there were between 1.5-to-2 million people making that journey. And here’s the part that’s really crucial: two million people – that’s a lot of eye witnesses to the event. Either they were either all liars, every last one of them -OR- they were all off-the-wall, out-of-their-minds insane. Every man, woman and child who made that crossing.

Are you picking up the scent here? Guys, this stuff happened. It really did. I can’t explain how it happened. It doesn’t matter how. I’ve been in professional ministry for more than 17 years, and I still struggle with God’s truth at times. And that’s okay. The feeling is emblematic of who we are as humans beings. 

But God’s Word, this truth we talk about in church and with friends exists whether we’re around to say it does. And we’re not prayerfully hoping it happened. The more time you spend in God’s Word, through praying over it before you read and paying close attention to the details, you’ll find the truth speaking to you.

And it will convict you soundly. And one day, you’ll be on the banks of the Red Sea just like the Israelites were that day, you’ll do like they did: you’ll sing (Exodus 15) worshipping the Lord and praising His name. 

Sometimes, that’s all you can do. And all you want to do.