Moving Forward-Part 1

Moving Forward – Part 1

Joshua 1:1-3

A couple of weeks ago, I spent a week with a team from our church. We were planting gospel seeds in the hearts of Muslims in what is known as "Little Egypt," located in the Astoria part of Queens, New York. The housing we stayed in was located in the same area. In fact, it was probably about three blocks from what is considered Little Egypt. It was operated by New York School of Urban Ministry, or for short it's called NYSUM.

The building is a renovated hospital, probably built in the early 1900s. The women stayed on the third floor. The men stayed on the fourth floor. Each room had bunks in it. The room I stayed in had four bunks. You can imagine. I chose the bottom bunk, because I sure didn't want to spend my time during the night getting up and down from that… You know, as you age, you have to do a few things in the middle of the night, and I sure didn't want to be falling out of the top bunk.

I noticed when I was lying there, when the top bunk was occupied, the space between the two… It was limited already. It's probably a good thing I wasn't on the top. It sagged. I started thinking about the Christian life. Fortunately, it sagged in the middle but was firm at both ends. I think there are many Christians whose Christian experience is like that. They're firm on the ends, but they're sagging in the middle.

They're firm in their justification. They know they're saved, and they know they're going to be glorified in the future, but they're sagging in their Christian experience. By that I mean they're not experiencing the abundance and fullness of all God has desired for us in our salvation. Now today we start a new sermon series, a summer sermon series, called Forward. It is a study out of the Old Testament book of Joshua.

I'm calling it Forward because that's what the book is about. It's about moving forward with God. It is about the Israelites pressing on into the Promised Land. Contrary to popular hymns, the Bible never speaks of heaven as the Promised Land. No, the Promised Land is a place for Israel to come and enjoy the fullness and blessings and abundance of their salvation. So for the Israelites, it was a place for them to go and enjoy the covenant blessings.

As they enjoyed the covenant blessings of God, they were to be witnesses to all of the Gentile nations around them. They were to be witnesses of the glory of God and the goodness of God. God promised, "If you obey the covenant, I'll give you peace in the land, and you will enjoy covenant blessings." However, God said to Israel, "If you disobey the covenant, you won't have peace. I will remove you from the land." If they obeyed, God says, "You enjoy the fullness of the land. You enjoy the abundance of the land."

Now Joshua and the Israelites' journey into the Promised Land is a picture of the Christian life under the new covenant. Our Joshua is Jesus. Our Joshua delivered us out of the bondage of Egypt, the bondage of sin. Our Joshua leads us through the wilderness and into the Promised Land. In fact, our Joshua, Jesus, is the Promised Land. The Promised Land is something you experience with all the chaos of a fallen world.

The Promised Land, Jesus… He says, "I have come that you may have life, but I've come that you may have life more abundantly, that you may enjoy the fullness of salvation." We can enjoy the fullness of salvation only as we abide in Jesus Christ. So the Promised Land speaks of the fullness of our salvation. It speaks of the blessings of our salvation.

The main theme for this study is that God calls us to possess the fullness and abundance of our salvation, just as he was calling the Israelites out of the wilderness to go into that land of promise, that place of fullness, that place of abundance. For Israel, God was calling them out. You have to understand the events of Joshua took place about 1,400 years before the first appearing of Jesus Christ. What had taken place before God called Joshua and the Israelites to the Promised Land is they had been wandering in the wilderness for 40 years.

They'd been moving but not forward. Now God says, "It's time to move forward. It's time to leave the wilderness of distrust. It's time to leave the wilderness and go into the fullness and abundance of your salvation, the Promised Land." As God speaks to us individually and as a church, we can see from Joshua, as God still speaks today, that he calls us, he calls the church, he calls believers, to move forward and to experience the abundant life, to experience the fullness of salvation.

We see that move forward, first of all, with a call. God calls you to move forward in your Christian experience. There are eight commands given to Joshua in the first nine verses, and two of those are found in the first two verses. "After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' assistant, 'Moses my servant is dead. Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, into the land that I am giving to them, to the people of Israel.'"

Two commands: arise and go over. "Joshua, I am calling you, and I'm ultimately calling Israel." Because as God commissions Joshua in the first nine verses Joshua, in turn, commissions the Israelites. He says the very same thing. "We are going over. God has called us to move forward. God has called us to arise and move forward and enjoy the blessings of our salvation." Arise and go over. He's calling them to move forward.

Now there's a very interesting principle that's communicated in these first two verses. Remember, in Hebrew language, in Hebrew literature, whenever you see repetition, that should speak to you. For instance, the other six commands we'll find in these verses (this is part one, by the way; part two is next week) are the same commands. He gives them to Joshua. "Be strong and courageous. Be strong and courageous. Be strong and courageous."

If God repeats the commands three times, what do you think? Do you think he's trying to tell us something? Yeah. "Be strong and courageous. Move forward and enjoy the blessings of your salvation, the fullness of your salvation." Here's the principle, and I think it's important that we as Christians and we as the church understand it: God calls us to move forward in spite of changing circumstances.

See, two times God makes mention of a significant person dying. His name is Moses. In fact, he begins the book saying, "After the death of Moses…" Moses has died. Yes, Moses, that great prophet who would lead the people of God out of Egypt. "He has died," it says in verse 1. "…the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' assistant…" Again in verse 2: "Moses my servant is dead."

This isn't a trivial truth we need just to learn. A very prominent figure in the history of Israel and in redemptive history has now passed away. Let's be honest. People by nature do not like change. Amen? We like it just as long as it doesn't bother us. "You can change whatever you want, just don't change my life."

But here's the reality of life: because of the fall, life is always changing. As much as we would love to keep everything the way it was or the way it is, the fact of the matter is we live in a fallen world, and life changes…for the good and also for the bad. You see, there's a change here. Some of them are going, "Oh my goodness. Moses is dead. What are we going to do now?" Some are thinking, "This isn't a good thing. Moses is dead."

From God's perspective, it is a good thing, because God is about to do something new. God is about to fulfill what he had promised to his people, Israel. He's about to do what he could not do with Moses because Moses got angry and forfeited his opportunity to go into the Promised Land. So things are changing, yet God calls them to move forward in spite of the changing circumstances.

Things were changing, but God says, "You know what? It's time to move forward. It's time to leave the wilderness. It's time to go into the Promised Land, the place of abundance, the place of fullness." Things were changing. They were coming out of the wilderness. For 40 years, they were in the wilderness.

Now you can describe the wilderness in three ways: covenant, miraculous provision, and judgment. Covenant was what brought them into the wilderness in the first place. If you know the book of Exodus, in Exodus 2, the people of Israel are calling out. They're crying out to God, and God hears their cry. That's when God begins to lift up someone to deliver them.

God did just that. He lifted up Moses, and he led the people out of Egyptian bondage, and they went into the wilderness, because God is faithful to his word and to his people. It was there in the wilderness, in coming out of Egypt, they experienced miraculous, unbelievable provision. I mean the miracles that took place in Egypt.

Then, of course, the crossing of the Red Sea that took them into the wilderness, and then the cloud by day and the fire by night that guided them, and of course there was the "What's this?" The manna. "What is this?" That's what manna means. They had manna for 40 years. They had water. They had everything they needed. Their clothes never wore out. That is miraculous provision. It is covenant. It is God's faithfulness to his people, but it's also a place of judgment.

You see, in spite of God's faithfulness to deliver his people, in spite of his miraculous provision, Israel did not trust God. They didn't allow those events in their lives to strengthen their faith. So when the 12 spies returned, 10 of them… We all know Joshua and Caleb were saying, "Let's go," because they understood the promise of God.

Ten of them said, "No, we can't do it. There are giants in the land." And what do the people do? Instead of trusting the Lord, instead of trusting his promise, instead of trusting his word, they listen to the 10 spies. God said, "Because of your unbelief, this unbelieving generation will not experience the fullness of the land. They will not experience the fullness of salvation."

They would die in unbelief. In fact, some of them would say, "Let's go back to Egypt." They would grumble and complain, and they never tasted the abundant life. It's in the midst of all that God says, "Rise. Go forth. In spite of your changing circumstances, in spite of your changing culture, go. I have a Promised Land for you. I have abundance for you. I have fullness for you. Go. Move forward."

What wilderness may you be in? I believe many believers stay in the wilderness. Sometimes they're in the wilderness of regret. You have regrets in your life and you think you'll never overcome those regrets, or maybe there's failure in your life and you think, "My life is over." It wasn't over for Israel. I want you to hear this.

Joshua and the Israelites moving forward really wasn't about Joshua and the Israelites. It's about God. The hero of the book of Joshua isn't Joshua. Did y'all know that? Oh hey, did you know the hero of this book is God himself? The hero of the book of Joshua is God. Maybe you think, "I'm in a wilderness, and I don't think I can ever get out of this wilderness." Can I just suggest this to you? Your life isn't about you; it's about God and what he wants to do in your life.

God wants to move you forward, and you can move forward. I don't care what wilderness you are in. I don't care what wilderness you're struggling in. I don't care what sag you find yourself in. God will call you to move forward in your Christian experience, and you can. In spite of the changing circumstances, you can move forward on the basis of his unchanging character and purposes. This story is about God.

Notice what happens in verse 2: "Moses my servant is dead. Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan [move forward, press on], you and all this people, into the land that I am giving to them…" "I'm giving you this land, Joshua. It's yours. All of the blessings and all the fruitfulness and all the abundance of this land I give to you and to my people."

Oh, but it gets better. Then again he says in verse 3… In fact, these are all promises. "I give you the land." Verse 3: "Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon…" I love this. He says in verse 2, "I will give it to you," and he says in verse 3, "I have given it to you. I'm giving you what I already gave. In fact, I'm giving you what I promised Moses."

If you know the Scriptures, you know it goes way beyond Moses. It goes all the way back to Genesis 12, where God calls Abraham out of Haran. He says, "I want you to go to the land I'm giving you. In that land, I'm going to make you a great nation. More than just being a great nation, I'm going to make you a blessing to all nations." So he moves out.

Then again in Genesis 13, God says, "I'm giving you the land." Again in Genesis 15: "I'm giving you the land." Again in Genesis 17: "I'm giving you the land." When he says, "Moses, I'm giving you the land," he's just reiterating the promise he has already given to Abraham. "I'm giving you the land I swore to your fathers. I promise. I pledge it." And if God says it, he'll do it. That's what he's doing.

Now beyond just the promise of the land and the call of Abraham to the land… You see, God wanted to do much, much more than make Abraham a great nation. I think sometimes we forget the overall purpose of God's plan. The reason he called Abraham was not just to make him a great nation, but ultimately to bless all of the nations through him, which means it takes us all the way back to Genesis 3, where God said, right after the fall, "The seed of the woman will crush the seed of the Serpent."

The seed of the woman is the seed of Abraham, and the seed of Abraham is Jesus Christ. So at the heart of it all is God's desire to redeem people from the bondage of sin and to redeem them to himself so he can say, "I am your God, and you are my people." That's the theme of the Bible: God redeeming people to himself through his Son, Jesus Christ.

So they were to move forward. God called them to move forward. He called them to move forward based upon his unchanging character, his unchanging purposes. They never, ever change. God is always faithful to his covenant promises. He's always faithful to his character. Because of that, they could move forward.

God hasn't changed. Oh sure, my circumstances have changed, but God hasn't changed. He's still a gracious God, a good God, a longsuffering God, a God who's full of grace, a God who's full of mercy. God says, "Yes, you are in the wilderness, but I want to take you out of that wilderness, and I want to move you into that place of abundance and fullness." Again, what wilderness are you in?

As it speaks to us as God's people, maybe we think, "I have failed." Maybe we struggle, just like the Israelites. Do you know what kept them in the wilderness? They didn't trust God. I think a lot of us will stay in the sag of the wilderness because we don't trust God. God doesn't want us to stay in the wilderness. Jesus didn't say, "I've come that you may spend the rest of your life in the wilderness."

He said, "I have come that you may have life. Not just eternal life, but I want you to have abundant life. I want you to experience the fullness of joy and the fullness of your salvation and the fullness of what it means to live in the Spirit and walk in the Spirit and walk in victory in the midst of a chaotic world."

It speaks to us individually. You know what? Things are constantly changing in our lives, but God says, "Move forward. Don't stay there in the wilderness." It speaks to us as a church. You know, you watch the news, and the culture is changing at such a rapid pace it's unbelievable. Have you noticed how fast? I mean the statistics for things we oppose, the things that are against God, are not leaning in our favor.

But God doesn't say, "Oh, okay. Just sit around until I take you out." God expects us to move forward. He wants us to reach our communities, the lost and dying who are outside of these walls. We don't live in a culture where everybody says, "Let's go to church." We have to go to them and be the church. Things are so rapidly changing.

Here's the encouraging thing. We might think we are the church in the wilderness. Listen to this. We might be in the wilderness, but we can move forward, because our God is an unchanging God. His character is unchanging, and his purposes are unchanging, and God's purpose will prevail. God calls us. He says, "Arise. Go over. Leave the wilderness. Go over into that Promised Land."

When God calls, he prepares. He prepared Joshua for this calling. Verse 1: "After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' assistant…" That says a lot, because it tells us that before God called Joshua, he prepared him. I enjoyed going back to see how God prepared Joshua for this moment in his life.

Everything in the Scripture tells me that what Joshua learned to take him into the Promised Land… Guess where he learned it? The wilderness. It was Joshua who was fighting against Amalek while Moses was on the mountain. Do you know the story? He has his hands raised. As long as he had his hands raised, they had victory, but when he grew tired and his hands were down, they started to lose.

That's where Aaron and Hur came and held up his arms, and they had victory over Amalek. Joshua got to experience that, and he would need that going into the Promised Land. By the way, the Promised Land isn't heaven, because if the Promised Land was heaven, there would be no conflict. You can experience the Promised Land in the midst of conflict. Then, of course, he was up on the mountain of God with Moses. I mean this guy got to experience some great things.

He was in the Tent of Meeting with Moses. He was one of the twelve spies, one of the two who came back and said, "Yes, let's go. God has given us the land." Of course, he was out there in the wilderness when he saw the lack of faith on the part of God's people, when they turned to idols and grumbled and complained and wanted to go back to Egypt. All of this prepared him to go forward into the Promised Land.

The wilderness is not necessarily something you can avoid; it's something you pass through to get to the fullness. The wilderness was part of it, but the wilderness was designed to prepare the Israelites to go into the Promised Land. The wilderness is really a place of brokenness. It's a place where God brings us. This is really a place we need to be at every day.

God allows certain circumstances to get us to that point, but the wilderness is that place where you're following the leadership of God, and all of a sudden there's no water, no food, no protection, all of a sudden you have this cloud leading you by day and this pillar of fire by night and you're seeing all this miraculous provision, and all you can do is trust God. Oh, in fact, that's what you want to do.

See, that's the problem with the Israelites. They did not see the purpose of the wilderness. Some of you are in the sag of the wilderness, and you're grumbling and complaining and thinking, "Man, I had it better in Egypt." Listen. You're in a place so you can learn to trust God. God wants you there at that place of total trust, total surrender, total brokenness, and when you come to God broken and surrendered and totally trusting in him, that is the doorway into fullness. That is the doorway into abundance.

Joshua and Caleb learned the wilderness is a place of preparation. It's a place of brokenness that allows us to move into the Promised Land. Once we're there in the Promised Land, as we abide in Jesus, we experience the fullness of Jesus. We experience the fullness of eternal life, in spite of the fact there are enemies all around us.

I was having a discussion with my wife last night, and she preached this sermon to me. I had told her what it was about. I told her, "Hey, Jesus is our Promised Land," and how we have peace. I made this comment that I'm ready for a season of rest, and she said, "You know, I thought you said Jesus was our rest." "You're right." She nailed it.

We're always looking for seasons of rest, but in the midst of our unrest, guess where our rest is found? Come on. Yes! In the midst of your unrest, you can have rest, because your rest is the Promised Land. His name is Jesus Christ, and as you abide in him and trust in him, you can have peace in a very turbulent season of life. Oh, it's good to be rebuked by your wife every once in a while, husbands. How true it is that no matter what season we're in, no matter what sag of the wilderness we're in, God says, "You know what? You can have peace."

I read a story of a young lady. Her name is Jenny Williams. I read the story because of her ministry. This young lady's husband abandoned her for another woman, and it left her bitter and broken. She could have stayed in that wilderness of bitterness and brokenness, but she allowed that brokenness to bring her into the Promised Land of abundance. She spoke of God's abundance in her life, how she found healing and hope.

In fact, she calls her ministry "A Modern Day Ruth." What struck me is the fact that she has come into the abundant life, she has allowed the abundance of God's blessing and the fullness of salvation to bring healing and hope to her life, and now she has a ministry. She is ministering to women who have faced and experienced the very same thing. She's allowing the abundance to flow through her.

Sue, I'm going to use you as an illustration, if you don't mind. Sue lost her dad. He's my hero. He preached the gospel for 60 years. Can we get an amen for that? He was faithful to the gospel. But he died unexpectedly. I'll never forget what Sue said to me that day. It was very profound. She said at the funeral, "Now I know how to minister to those who have lost loved ones unexpectedly."

She was broken and in a wilderness, but she's now allowing God to take that brokenness to bring abundance to her life. Now she can minister to others. God calls us to move forward in spite of changing circumstances. It could be the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the loss of a husband. Usually we don't struggle with all of the positive things that have happened to us. We struggle with the bad things.

God says, "You know what? Whether it be failure, whether it be regret…" Some of us have so much regret from our past, and we're like, "I can't get over this." Listen. God doesn't want you to stay there. The Devil does, but God doesn't want you to stay there, wallowing in regret. He doesn't want you to stay there in failure because you've failed. He's not there condemning you. God wants you to move forward. He wants you to move from that wilderness, no matter what hurt or whatever you're struggling with.

Whatever is causing you to sag, God says, "Listen, I brought you to that place of brokenness and to that place where all you can do is trust in me so you can experience the abundant life." What's your wilderness? I think all of us could probably identify some struggles in our lives. What's your wilderness? Identify it. Is it marriage? Is it your children? Is it bitterness because you've been hurt? Unforgiveness? Regret? Failure?

Whatever your wilderness is, here's what God is saying to you: "Move forward. Move forward, because I am the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Move forward. You come into that place of abundance. You cross over that Jordan. You step out in faith and you move and you accept my forgiveness. You accept my restoration. You accept my blessings. You move forward. You go into that place of abundance and allow that abundance to work in you so it can work through you."

The Promised Land is never meant to be something we keep to ourselves. The Promised Land for Israel was to be a place of blessing so they could witness to all of the Gentile nations around them of the one true God, witness of his glory and of his goodness. Unfortunately, they kept it to themselves, and many times they disobeyed the covenant. God would not allow them to stay there in peace, and he would not allow them to stay in the land, because they disobeyed.

God does not intend the fullness of our salvation to stop with us. He wants it to leak out of us and to go into the highways and byways of our communities so people can see the one true living God. The Promised Land is for those who were at one time and are right now in bondage in Egypt, who need to be delivered from Egypt. Only Jesus can deliver us from the bondage of sin. Only Jesus can lead us into the fullness of the Promised Land.

Some of you need to move forward today, but it's not out of the wilderness. Some of you are in the bondage of Egypt. You're in the bondage of sin. You can't get to the Promised Land until you cross through the Red Sea. You can't get to the Promised Land until you pass through the blood of Jesus Christ, and that will only happen through faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

When you trust in Jesus, he brings you out of the bondage of sin. He cleanses you and purifies you from all your sin, and he takes you into the wilderness. Now he says, "Go into the Promised Land. I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly." Some of you today need to do that. You need to say, "Jesus, I trust you as Lord and Savior." Others of you are in the sag of the wilderness, and God is calling you. "Move forward."

Let's bow our heads, close our eyes. You need Jesus today. You need to be freed from your sin. Right where you are, from your heart, just call out to Jesus. The Bible says all who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. Tell him to deliver you. Tell him you trust in his death and resurrection. Tell him you have faith. Tell him you'll follow him. If you mean that from your heart and you place your faith in Jesus Christ, you have just passed from death to life.

Others of you are in the wilderness. You're a believer, but you're in the wilderness, and you're struggling with trusting God. You're wondering if you'll ever get over the Jordan. It's going to take faith, and it's going to take you today saying, "Lord, I'm moving forward from this wilderness. I'm moving forward, and I'm going to go into that place of abundance. I'm going to allow you to heal me. I'm going to allow you to give me hope. I'm going to allow you to restore me."

You know who you are. God is speaking to you today, and he's saying, "Come and enjoy the fullness of your salvation." If you're here today and you know you need Christ… In a moment we're going to sing this song about how God saves us. He's mighty to save. He's saving you. You come forward and tell me, "Pastor, I've given my life to Christ." You may want to come forward and say, "I'm moving into the Promised Land, Pastor." Whatever God is speaking to your heart, you obey, you move.

Father, thank you for your Word. Thank you for this truth today that penetrates every one of us. May we take it, may we accept it, and go forward. In Jesus' name, amen.

Forever And Ever, Amen

First Southern Baptist Church

Dr. Patrick Mead

Series: God's Love Song

June 8, 2014

Forever and Ever, Amen

Song of Solomon 8:5-14

What we're going to see and what we're learning from the Song of Solomon is this: a lasting love, a love that lasts a lifetime, demands faithful commitment. It demands faithful commitment, and these closing verses really sum up the main theme of the whole book. This is the picture of the ideal marriage.

An ideal marriage is characterized by a love that lasts a lifetime, and love that lasts a lifetime demands faithful commitment. Truth be told, whether you're in your first marriage or you've been married a hundred times, if you're married right now, the marriage you are in needs to be a love that lasts a lifetime. The only way that will happen is if there is faithful commitment on both parts, by both spouses.

What we do as we come to the end of the Song of Solomon… We're going to see the characteristics of true love. We're going to see, really, a love that lasts a lifetime, the kind of love that lasts a lifetime, the kind of love that expresses a faithful commitment. Let me give you several things that characterize a love that lasts a lifetime.

1. A love that lasts a lifetime supports one another in the "for better or worse" seasons of life.Let's pick up the story in verse 5. The very first part of verse 5 says this. "Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?" You have a picture of the husband and wife. They're coming out of the wilderness, and the wife is walking side-by-side with her husband, and she's leaning on her beloved.

This isn't the first time we've seen the wilderness mentioned in this wonderful song. Back on the wedding day, it mentioned the wilderness and how there was a cloud coming out of the wilderness. This was symbolic of how God was leading the husband, the couple, the bride and the groom, how he was leading them to this point.

It's also symbolic of how God would lead the people of Israel in those 40 years in the wilderness. He was also leading them. Here it has that same connotation. It's symbolic of the hardships because if you read the story of the Israelites coming out of the wilderness or being in the wilderness for 40 years, you will see it was characterized by difficulties, struggles, hardships.

What we have here is a picture of a couple who is coming out of the difficulties, the seasons of marriage, the seasons of life… Because there are those better times, and there are those worse times. This is one of those worse times where they have experienced some difficulty. Yet the people are seeing that they're still together. They're walking side-by-side. In fact, she's leaning on her husband, maybe even setting her head on his shoulder.

That word for leaning means to support, to trust, to find rest. That's what it means to support one another, that you go through these hardships in life and hardships through marriage, and you come together. This is where we talk about becoming one. God said that the man shall leave his mother and father, and he shall cling to his wife, and the two shall become one. Not that they lose their identities, but they grow closer together, not apart.

This couple, through the seasons of life, the "for better or for worse" seasons of life, is growing together. It's the people noticing their relationship, that they are one. They are together, and they're not growing apart, but they're growing closer. I like how The Passion translation translates the first part of verse 5. It says, "Who is this one? Look at her now. She arises from the desert of difficulty…" It translates "the wilderness" as the desert of difficulty. "…clinging to her beloved."

"Who is this coming out? Two people clinging to one another, leaning on one another as they go through the difficulties of life." A love that lasts a lifetime demands faithful commitment by two people to one another, to support one another through the "for better or for worse" seasons of life.

That's why we put "for better or for worse" in the vows. That's something that has been lost in our culture. A love that lasts a lifetime, a love that is "forever and ever, amen" has two people supporting one another, clinging to one another, leaning on one another through the seasons of life.

2. A love that lasts a lifetime acknowledges God's lordship in the marriage. The last part of verse 5 says, "Under the apple tree I awakened you." This is the woman speaking. Verse 5 is the others, the people noticing, and they're saying, "Who is this coming out of the wilderness?" People are seeing their love and their togetherness. It's public.

Then you have the woman. She's singing. She said, "Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you; there she who bore you was in labor." This isn't the first time we've heard that word awakened. In fact, it's used several times in the warning the woman gives to the daughters of Jerusalem. Go back to verse 4. There is the last warning we see, but she gave at least three warnings to the daughters of Jerusalem.

She said in verse 4, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." She's warning them, "Don't awaken love." In this context, love is romantic love that results in sexual intimacy. She's saying, "Don't awaken it until its proper time." The proper time to awaken that type of intimacy is in the context of a marriage relationship. Now they're married. Now they've said, "I do." Now she says, "I have awakened love."

Now is the right time for true romance that results in sexual intimacy. It's in the context of a covenant relationship, a marriage between a husband and a wife, a man and a woman. Watch this. She says, "Under the apple tree I awakened you." The apple tree is symbolic of romantic love. It is symbolic of intimacy.

On one level, she says to her husband when she starts talking about his mother being in labor under the apple tree… She's basically saying, "We're doing the same thing your parents did when you were conceived." Okay? You just figured that one out. On one level, she says, "I awakened your love, and the very thing that brought you into the world we are now enjoying."

There is a deeper level here because when she makes reference to the fact that his mother gave birth to him under the apple tree, what she is declaring and what they are doing is isacknowledging that God, in his great plan and destiny for these two, brought them together, that he was born for this time, to be in this relationship.

If you're like me, you believe that God has a plan. He said to Israel, "For I know I the plans I have for you…" Right? He can say it to you as an individual. "I know the plans I have for you." What they are doing and what she is doing is acknowledging that a part of God's plan and destiny for her life and for his life is that those two will become one. They're acknowledging.

They've done this before, even in chapter 3 when they were coming out of the wilderness. What they were doing was acknowledging that God had brought them together. She's still acknowledging, "God has brought us together." You know, to know that God brought you together… By the way, if you do get married, and if you have any question of whether or not God brought you together, don't do it. You need to have assurance that, "God brought us together," because that assurance will also keep you faithfully committed.

"God brought us together," and what God brings together, let no man tear apart. I want to share this with you. I've never shared this in a sermon before. Hey, it is Pentecost Sunday, right? On Pentecost, it says that God would pour out his Spirit, and the old men will dream dreams and have visions and all that stuff. Well, I've only shared this with a few people, but I've never shared it in a sermon.

I knew I was going to marry Christy before I even had a date. It gets better. I knew I was going to marry Christy before I ever broke off that previous relationship I was in. I knew I was going to marry her. You say, "How did you know?" It was soon after we had that divine appointment connection in our family and marriage dynamics class where I said, "We have a lot in common."

It was just a few days after that. I remember I had a dream. This is the only time this has ever happened to me. In this dream, God was telling me I was going to marry Christy Brashear. I even woke up. I remember waking up and sitting in my bed and saying, "God, what are you trying to tell me?" The next morning, I had this great confidence. I had never even been on a date with her.

I went to my mom. Back then, Criswell College had these student handbooks. They would take the pictures at the beginning of the semester so you would know the students. I went in to my mom. I was living with her at the time. I said, "Look, mom. I'm going to marry this girl right here." My mom wasn't a believer at the time. She just awkwardly said, "Okay."

"No, I'm going to marry her."

"How do you know?"

"I had a dream last night. God told me I'm going to marry her."

Then I told the girl I was engaged to. "You're not going to believe this. I had a dream, and there is this blonde-haired girl at school who God told me I'm going to marry." Now her dad did not like that. That relationship was gone after that. I'm telling you the truth. We had our date, and 19 years later, I have married the woman God wanted me to marry.

I share that with you because God is the one who brought us together. Through that relationship, we acknowledge the lordship of Christ in our relationship. There is nothing greater you can do for your life and for your marriage than to acknowledge the lordship of Christ and to surrender to the lordship of Christ in your life and to make Christ and his kingdom and his righteousness the priority of your life, the priority of your marriage.

When you acknowledge God's lordship in your life, what you're doing is acquiescing to his leadership. You're saying, "Lord, I'm putting you first. I want your will for my life, however difficult that may be." I remember praying as I was still in that relationship with that girl and wondering, "Is this the girl I'm supposed to marry after three times calling off the wedding? God, I'm so emotionally involved, I don't know what to do. I'm putting it into your hands."

Guess what. If you'll put it into God's hands, he'll take care of it. The truth of the matter is love is painful, and there are going to be seasons of pain in every relationship and every marriage. In a couple who is committed to one another, I believe it takes an acknowledgment that, "Christ has first place in our marriage. We're going to seek his kingdom. We're going to seek his righteousness. We're going to seek his glory."

The beauty of those painful seasons in marriage is this. Though they may be painful, they can be fruitful. Can I get an, "Amen"? Though they may be painful, they can become something very fruitful. When they become fruitful, it glorifies the Lord.

3. A love that lasts a lifetime protects the marriage at all costs. We see that in verses 6-10. I'm going to give you four ingredients to protecting your marriage at all costs. All of these are in the text. First of all, you need passion. Passion will protect the marriage at all costs. Look at verse 6. The woman is still speaking. She's still singing. She says, "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death…" What imagery. "…jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord."

She sings, and she says to the husband, "I want you to set me as a seal upon your heart and then upon your arm." What does that mean? Well a seal was a signature, a signature that a king or someone would stamp on something to say, "This belongs to me." If it was a law, he would stamp it with his seal and say, "This law is coming from me." If it was a possession, he would stamp that possession and say, "It's mine. I own this."

What she is saying is, "I want you to put your name on me. I want you to set me as a seal upon your heart and a seal upon your arm." In this context, it speaks of her being so valuable that he won't want to depart from her. It speaks of value. What's she's saying is, "I want you to so love me with such great passion that you love me with all of your strength. Seal me upon your arm." That's the symbol of strength. "I want you to love me with all of your strength."

Then she says, "Seal me upon your heart." She's saying, "I want you to love me with all of your being." Passion. Passion protects a marriage. Then she goes on. She describes this type of passion, this type of love. "…for love is as strong as death…" What does that mean? Well, death is irreversible, right? As much as we try, we're all going to die. Of course, Jesus has conquered death, but truth be told, it has been appointed to every one of us to die and then face judgment.

In that same manner, just as death is irreversible, the kind of love it takes, the kind of passion it takes to protect your marriage, is the kind of passion and love that says, "My love for my spouse…for my wife, for my husband…is irreversible, no matter what." Then she says, "…jealousy is fierce as the grave." Think about that. The grave does not give up the dead. Right? Yeah. It doesn't give up. It doesn't give up the dead.

We often think of jealousy as something very negative, but not in this case. This is not connected with envy, wanting something you can't have. You see, our God is a jealous God, right? For us to have a passionate love that is jealous for the other person means we are so concerned for that person, and we look out for the interests of that person. We want the best for that person. You see, God is a jealous God because he knows what is best for us, and he wants what is best for us, right?

See, when you're passionately in love with your spouse, you're jealous in the sense that you want the best for your spouse. You realize, "The decisions I make could hurt my spouse, could hurt my wife, could hurt my husband." It takes that type of passion that says, "I'm going to love my wife. I'm going to love my husband with all of my strength, with all of my being. I'm going to look out for that person. I'm going to look out for my spouse. I want the best for my spouse." It takes passion.

It also takes perseverance. The first part of verse 7 says, "Many waters cannot quench love,neither can floods drown it." You have this passionate love, this fire. What she is saying is, "No matter what comes our way, no matter how serious the situation we may be going through, nothing can quench this love. No matter what, we're going to persevere. We're going to stick together. We're not going to quit on each other. We're going to work through this." That's the type of love that lasts a lifetime, when it's passionate and when it perseveres.

The third truth is that it's priceless. The last part of verse 7 says, "If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised." Simply put, you can't buy love. No money in the world can purchase love. If you think money will buy you love, then you don't have love. The love you purchase isn't love because true love is given. Right? You can't buy that. It's given.

What she is saying and what this text is teaching us is that when you find love and you find a spouse and they give you love, you have found something that is priceless. You have found something you can't buy with money. You have a treasured gift from God that somebody loves you. I think about that all the time. I think, "My goodness. I can't leave my wife. I don't know anybody else foolish enough to marry me." I mean, somebody loves me. By the grace of God, she was blinded for just long enough to say, "I do." Now she's still blinded, obviously.

The point is I have somebody who has given love to me. I can't purchase that. I can't buy that. No job is worth losing that type of love. Amen? No temptation or flirtatious temptation is worth giving it all up, or some demonic lie that says, "You know what? If you just had the right person, the grass would be greener." That type of stuff. "If you just had the right person, then you would be happy." Let me tell you it's not about having the right person; it's about being the right person. It's priceless.

Here's the fourth truth. The fourth ingredient to protecting your marriage at all costs is purity. What we have here are her brothers. They're singing, and they're piping in. We're going to the past before they got married. It says in verse 8, "We have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar."

What he is saying is she's not at the point of maturity. Now that she's spoken for and there is this season of getting to know each other, the betrothal… That's what they did. They were betrothed, and they still didn't have sexual relationships. It was usually a year or so before they actually had the wedding ceremony. Here is what the brothers are saying. Here is the value of a good family. They're going to help her stay pure. They're going to help her seek holiness in this relationship.

Then of course she's going to respond. Verse 10. "I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers…" She didn't give in to the desires she had. She knew there was a proper context for sexual desire and sexual intimacy, and that was in the context of a committed marriage relationship. Even before they got married, they sought purity and holiness, and they were full of self-discipline. They disciplined themselves to stay pure and holy.

What they did is wait for the marriage. They waited for the wedding night. What they did is lay a foundation, a foundation of purity and holiness to build upon. When they said, "I do," they could bring that same purity and holiness into the marriage relationship. The same is true if you are married. One of the ways you protect your marriage at all costs is to pursue purity and holiness.

4. A love that lasts a lifetime gives oneself to the other completely. In the very last part of verse 10, she says, "…then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace [favor]." Then it says in verse 11, "Solomon had a vineyard at Baal-hamon; he let out the vineyard to keepers; each one was to bring for its fruit a thousand pieces of silver. My vineyard, my very own, is before me; you, O Solomon, may have the thousand, and the keepers of the fruit two hundred." In other words, "I give you myself. I give to you myself completely."

He says in verse 13, "O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice; let me hear it." You see, this is what marriage is, and this is what oneness is: two people coming together and giving oneself to the other completely. That's what it is. "Everything I have is yours." Not that they lose identity, but they have this oneness identity. "Now I give myself to my wife," and vice versa. "She gives herself to me."

You see, marriage isn't 50-50. It's 100 percent-100 percent. Husbands, it's you being as Christ is to the church. Christ didn't give 50-50, did he? What did he give? Everything. A love that lasts a lifetime demands faithful commitment. A faithful commitment supports one another through those better and worse seasons of life, acknowledges the lordship of Christ in the relationship, protects the marriage at all costs with passion, perseverance, pricelessness, realizing what you have can't be bought with money, and then purity.

You have two people becoming one, and they give themselves to one another. Here is what happens. When you put all this together, and you have a love that lasts a lifetime with faithful commitment, that faithful commitment creates a marriage that reflects the glory of God. I want you to look at this last verse. The woman is speaking to her husband. She's saying, "Make haste, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountains of spices."

What a way to end it. "Come on home, honey." That's what she's saying. "Come on." I believe that when you have two people who are working at having a love that lasts a lifetime, it is work. Can I get an, "Amen"? It doesn't happen on its own. It takes work. When you have two people faithfully committed to one another and enjoying each another, what happens in that relationship is the home becomes a place to be, not a place to avoid.

Sadly, I've been around pastors who didn't like to go home. They would do anything they could to avoid going home. You see, when you have a love that lasts a lifetime, it becomes a place to be, a place where joy is experienced between a husband and wife. What happens is that joy overflows. You have children, and it overflows into the children. Then it overflows into the world, and the world begins to see this joy you have because you're walking hand-in-hand through the good times and the bad times.

What happens is your marriage begins to reflect the glory of God. I want you to hear whatAugustine said. He said something like, "Where there is love there is trinity: a lover, a beloved, and a spirit of love." Is that not a good statement? Where there is true romance, the kind we see right here in this wonderful psalm, what you have is a reflection of the triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Thank God I made it through the Song of Solomon. Let me tell you. It has been tough. We spent seven weeks on what it means to prepare yourself. I tell parents this all the time. "Your kids are hearing about sex on the playground. They need to hear it from you, and they need to hear it from the pastor." I make no apologies if I have offended somebody by using the word sex. God created it. God has a plan, to prepare ourselves for marriage and what to do after the marriage.

I'm going to be honest with you. This has been one of the most convicting books I've preached through. Why? Because I'm married. Quite honestly, it can be discouraging. For our young people who will be in this next service, maybe they've lost their purity, or for couples who are going in the midst of chaos, and they're really wondering, "Is this really possible? Can we truly be a relationship like that?" We have people who have gone through divorce.

This book can be discouraging, but there is always the hope of the gospel, all right? I want you to think about this. I want you to think about life as a garden because that's how the psalm puts it. It says in the book that we're to keep out those little foxes that can come into the garden and start tearing up the garden. There are always going to be foxes that will come into the gardens of our lives and destroy them.

Here is the good news. Jesus is the Master Gardener. He comes in, and he specializes in those gardens. In fact, it's only those who realize, "My garden is messed up," who can actually… TheMaster Gardener comes in. He will replant. He will restore. He will renew. He will recreate. Amen? No matter what has happened to the garden of your life, the gospel is all about Jesus coming and saying, "I want to bring healing. I want to bring wholeness. I want to bring restoration."

He will if we allow him. He will if we will say, "Lord, here is my life. Here is my garden. It's messed up. Come on in." See, that's what the gospel is all about. The gospel does not call people who have their lives together. Jesus didn't say, "I have come to those who have their lives together." The church is not a place that says on the outside, "Only those who have their lives together are welcome here."

Jesus did not come to the righteous. He came to those who realize they need a God to come into their lives. They need God to give them righteousness. They are sick with sin. That's what the gospel is. It's hope. Maybe you're here this morning, and your life has been ravaged. Your garden has been ravaged by the little foxes, and you realize, "I need Christ as my Lord and Savior."

Maybe you're a believing couple, and you realize, "There have been foxes that have come into our marriage. They're still there, and they're still destroying it." Listen. Jesus gives you hope. There is no hopeless marriage. There is no hopeless life. None. Jesus gives hope to everyone. The question is, "Will you allow it?"

Let's bow our heads and close our eyes. You're here this morning, and you know you need Jesus. You know you need Christ. You know the garden of your life has been destroyed. The flowers are broken. You know you need grace and you need mercy. You come to Jesus this morning. You turn from your sin and self and place your faith in the saving work of Christ.

That is your only hope. That is our only hope. You turn to Jesus, and you say to Jesus this morning, "I need you. I place my faith in your death, your burial, your resurrection. I give my life to you." When you do that, Jesus will come in. He will restore you. In fact, the Bible says the old will be gone, and the new will come. You will become a new creature in Jesus Christ.

In a moment, we're going to sing a song of invitation. I want to invite you to come forward. By doing that, you'll be saying, "Pastor, I need Christ." I also want you to know you're here today. You're a couple. You're married. Maybe you're a young person, and you've allowed impurity into your relationship. I want you to know Jesus stands with his arms wide open, and he says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." You come to him this morning.

Father, we thank you for this day. We thank you for your love. We thank you for the grace you have demonstrated through your Son Jesus Christ, and we thank you for the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. We pray for this time to glorify you. In Jesus' name, amen.

First Southern Baptist Church                                                                                                9

Bryant, AR

Unforgettable: Growing in Romance

First Southern Baptist Church

Dr. Patrick Mead

Series: God's Love Song

June 1, 2014

Unforgettable: Growing in Romance

Song of Solomon 4, 6, 7

February 14, 1995. It started off with about a dozen or so roses being delivered at 8:00 a.m. to the library at the Criswell College in Dallas, Texas. The recipient of those roses was this curly-haired, blonde-haired Texas girl by the name of Christy Dawn Brashear. I remember that day well because she had big hair. It was a humid day, right? I remember delivering the flowers, and she was like, "Oh my hair! It's all big. It's humid!"

We had some big plans that day. I showed up that evening to her mom's house, and I had some more roses. I had a poem I wrote myself. We went to a popular restaurant in Dallas where lovers go, especially on February 14. We had dinner. I had duck, and you had mahi-mahi. We finished the dinner. I got down on one knee, and I said, "Christy Brashear, would you marry me?" She said, "Yes!"

That day is probably the day I've been most romantic in my life. It might have been the only day I have been romantic in my life. I actually thought I would surprise her. I thought she would be surprised. She acted surprised when I proposed, but a few years into our marriage, she said, "Well, let me just go ahead and let you know I wasn't surprised. I expected you to propose that night."

You know, what was interesting… Do you young people know what a cassette tape is? Okay.Well, my mother-in-law made a cassette tape, and she put music on it. We listened to those love songs on the way to the restaurant and on the way back. One of those love songs was Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable."

I would love to tell you that I'm just a romantic guy, but I'm not. If it wasn't for my mother-in-law, she might have said no. My mother-in-law helped me out that day. I did write the poem, and I was inspired. It had to be inspired by God, because out of the 19 years of our marriage, I haven't been inspired to do it again, and I've tried! I'm like, "How in the world did I do that?" It was pretty good, wasn't it? Yeah!

I do watch a lot of Hallmark movies. I do! I watch more than my family. I watch them over and over again, but somehow in my life, the romance has not bled over into my marriage. About a couple of years ago, Christy and I attended a Family Life marriage conference. Has anybody ever been to that Weekend to Remember? Yeah. Don't you hate those? Boy, I'll tell you, they hit you right between the eyes.

We realized something that day, that you cannot put marriage on cruise control. If you think your marriage is going to go in the right direction all by itself, it won't. What will happen is you'll crash, or your marriage will go missing in action. Our couple in the Song of Solomon is showing us what an ideal marriage looks like. If you were here last week, an ideal marriage is not conflict-free. Can I get an amen? An ideal marriage learns how to work through that conflict. An ideal marriage learns how to fight good, not bad.

We've learned they've already dealt with conflict. What we see with this couple is they're not at war with one another. They're not combative. They're not self-serving. Instead, what they are doing is expressing their love for one another with the goal of contributing to the other's life. See, that's what marriage is all about.

This is how God designed marriage. Even if you're unbelievers, God designed marriage in this way. It is between a man and a woman. Okay? Amen? Okay. It's in the Bible. It's between a man and a woman where the two become one. They began to reflect the very nature and character and the glory of God. They do that by becoming one, one flesh, this oneness. The man shall leave his mother and father, and the woman, and they shall become one flesh.

In that union, God has designed his nature and character and glory to be reflected. That's why it's so important as believers that we stand up for what marriage really is because at stake here is the glory of God. We see that with this couple. What I've learned and what we're going to learn is that true romance is something that has to be cultivated throughout the marriage. Husbands, if you're like me, you probably think, "Well, I'm not a romantic. I'm not romantic."

Well, that's no excuse (and I'm talking to myself). That's no excuse for not trying to grow in romance. You have to be intentional. This couple is intentional in their growth and romance. Let me give you four things that kill true romance in marriage and why romance goes to the wayside in many marriages (mine included).

First is sin. Sin is always a romance-killer. You see, when you got married, you married a sinner. Do you know that, husband? Do you know that, wife? Yeah, and that's the problem with marriages. You're married. You have two sinners married to one another. A lot of times and many times, one of them or both of them can be selfish and self-serving.

Then what happens is they may say something that hurts the other one. If you don't deal with it in a proper way like we learned last week about extending forgiveness and trying to bring resolution to conflict… If you don't deal with those words or those hurt feelings, what happens is that heart becomes callous. All of a sudden, a couple doesn't have those… What's the song?"You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'." Yeah, you want to kill each other, right? Sin kills romance.

The second thing is vanity. Vanity is where you put all your emphasis on the outward appearance. If your emphasis is on the outward appearance, obviously time and disease and everything else that happens to our bodies are against you. That's why it's so important that when you are in arelationship that you fall in love with who the person is. You fall in love with their soul, their inner beauty.

Then there's the third one: forgetfulness. We get married, and then for some reason we take each other for granted. We take our spouse for granted. We forget all of those things that attracted usto them in the first place. Maybe we forget all those beautiful qualities, and now all we see are those negative qualities. We begin to become ungrateful because of all of those negative things we see. We forget all the good things.

That's why when it comes to forgetfulness, to overcome that, you have to be intentional about remembering. Especially if you find yourself only focusing on all the negatives of your spouse, that's a good time to get out and write down those positive qualities. It might take you a while, but you'll find them. They were there at one time.

Then the fourth one is laziness. This is where most of us are, where we get so involved with life.We're married. Now we have children, and now we have work. We're so busy. We're going here.We're going there. Then all of a sudden, being romantic becomes a chore. If you're like me, well, I'm just sometimes too lazy to work at it.

All of these things kill true romance. What this couple is going to teach us is if we're going to grow in romance, we have to work at it. We have to be intentional. We can't be forgetful. We have to work through the sin in our lives. We have to work through the vanity. We need to begin to look at the inward person. We have to work! You can't be lazy. You can't be forgetful. What we learn first of all from this couple is…

1. To grow in true romance you have to grow in appreciation for your spouse. When you grow in appreciation for your spouse, what happens is it begins to cultivate and create security in a marriage. We see that with this couple. Let's pick up the story in verse 4. It says in verse 4, "You are beautiful as Tirzah, my love, lovely as Jerusalem, awesome as an army with banners."Hold your finger there. We going to come back, but go to verse 10.

In verse 10 it says, "Who is this who looks down like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun, awesome as an army with banners?" What we have here is a bookend. It gives us a section of Scripture. What we find in this section, in these bookends, is the husband. He is singing here. Remember this is a love song. He is speaking and singing to his wife. He is showing his appreciation, not just that he appreciates her but that they're growing. He is growing in appreciation. Let's pick it up in verse 4.

"You are beautiful as Tirzah, my love, lovely as Jerusalem, awesome as an army with banners.Turn away your eyes from me, for they overwhelm me—your hair is like a flock of goatsleaping down the slopes of Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of ewes that have come up from the washing; all of them bear twins; not one among them has lost its young."

Now if you were here a few weeks ago, in chapter 4, these are the very same words he spoke to his wife. In fact, they were at the wedding making a commitment to one another. It says in verse 1 of chapter 4 (he is speaking to his bride), "Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats…"

So he likes her hair. I know we can't relate to goats being symbolic of beautiful hair, but for a shepherding culture, they understood that. He has this line he likes to repeat. "Honey baby, your hair looks like a goat's hair. It's beautiful!" He goes on. "Your hair is like a flock of goats…"Then he says, "Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes that have come up from the washing,all of which bear twins, and not one among them has lost its young."

Two times! He really likes the woman's hair. I want to say this. Men, if you have a praise, a line, your wife likes, keep using it. Obviously this is working for the man in this text. "Hey, baby. I love your hair. It looks like goats. Your teeth! I love your teeth. They're white, and you have all your teeth." That was a big thing then!

You know, I wouldn't do that to Christy, but I do have a song for Christy: Van Morrison's "Tupelo Honey." Yeah. Yeah, I look at her and go, "Hey, baby. You're as sweet as tupelo honey." That's awhole lot better than saying, "Your hair looks like goat's hair." That's what he is doing. Here'srepetition. Repetition is important in Hebrew language, because when you see repetition in Hebrew language, that means, "You need to pay attention to this."

If you see a word or a phrase that's stated over and over again, that means they're trying to communicate something. The very fact that he is using the same lines over again is teaching a lesson to married couples, that if you're going to grow in romance, you have to continue to do so.It doesn't stop when you say, "I do." You know, we men tend to think once we say, "I do," we got her. We're going to bag her, and we're going to move on to the next doe, right? No.

We have to keep working at romance. That's what we see. He doesn't give up. He is still showinghis appreciation for her. To grow in true romance, we continue to do that throughout our lives as a married couple. You do it as you show greater appreciation for one another. Notice what he says again in verse 4. "You are beautiful as Tirzah…"

Now Tirzah was a city that was really the capital city of the northern kingdom during the time of Solomon. It was a beautiful, strong city. When he says, "You are like Tirzah," he is saying to his woman, "You're strong, and you're beautiful." Then he says, "You're like Jerusalem. You're as lovely as Jerusalem." Now if you've ever been to Israel… Has anybody been to Israel? Yeah.Y'all have been a few times, and I went with you.

I'll never forget when we were entering into Jerusalem, and the guide put in some music about Jerusalem. We were winding around the road. You get around this corner. All of a sudden, there is Jerusalem. I can't explain the feeling. It's like you have this feeling like, "Man, I'm home." I don't know about anybody else, but my jaw dropped. I thought, "What beauty! This is the Holy City!"

That's what he is saying to his wife. "You're like Jerusalem, that wonderful Holy City on a hill. When I see you, you're so beautiful that my jaw drops. I am in awe of you." You see, he likes her physical appearance. He says, "You're majestic. You're beautiful. You're strong." But he doesn'tstop there. You see, he doesn't just focus on the physical. He goes beyond that. He is in love with who she is, and he becomes more creative.

Verse 7. He says, "Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil. There are sixty queens and eighty concubines, and virgins without number. My dove, my perfect one, is the only one, the only one of her mother, pure to her who bore her." He is talking about who she is, her character, her purity.

"The young women saw her and called her blessed; the queens and concubines also, and they praised her." Then in verse 10, it says, "Who is this who looks down like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun, awesome as an army with banners?" He is talking about who she is as a person. What we see is that he is growing in appreciation for his wife.

Here's what's so important. If we're not careful, through forgetfulness, we can stop growing in appreciation for our spouse. We begin to take them for granted, and we need to be mindful of this, that we have to grow in appreciation and begin to communicate those qualities. What happens when you grow in appreciation for your spouse is it actually gives security to your marriage, especially to wives.

When their husband is constantly communicating how he appreciates her and that appreciation is growing, what that does is it gives her security. That irrevocable commitment you made, you're actually committed to that, and you're appreciating her. It gives her that assurance. Husbands, that also shows to us that we need to be mindful of speaking our appreciation for our wives so we can begin to take out that inner beauty.

See, that's the focus you ought to have, ladies. There's nothing wrong with outer appearance, but what is lasting is your inward beauty, your inward person in the heart. What's so important is that you begin to cultivate that beauty. Husbands, what's important for you is to draw that beauty out, showing greater appreciation for your wife. See, what happens is it brings security in your marriage.

2. To grow in true romance you need to recognize the seasons of marriage so your marriage can stay in rhythm. To understand verses 11 through 13, you have to go back to verse 9 where he says, "The young women saw her and called her blessed." Then it says, "The queens andconcubines also, and they praised her."

Scholars believe what's happened here is these queens, these concubines, these ladies are all praising her and blessing her for this reason. When they entered into that season of conflict, she recognized what she had done, and she sought out her husband. She wanted to bring resolution to this conflict, and they did.

What they are doing in verse 9 is they're saying, "Bless you! Bless you for realizing there is conflict in your marriage, there's conflict in your relationship. Bless you! We praise you for you have pursued your husband to bring about resolution by asking for forgiveness." Of course, he is extending forgiveness. Maybe it goes vice versa. With that in mind, with the idea of conflict being resolved, now we can begin to understand verse 11.

This is the woman, and she begins to sing, "I went down to the nut orchard to look at the blossoms of the valley, to see whether the vines had budded, whether the pomegranates were in bloom." She is going down during the spring season. "Let's see if we see the fruit coming out.Are the buds budding?" so to speak. This is imagery of spring, and spring is symbolic of love.

She is acknowledging, "We've just gone through this season of conflict, but now that we've gone through this conflict, what is happening is now we're in this new season of love, this new seasonof growth. We've brought resolution. Now our love is going to grow deeper." What every married couple needs to understand and what every person who wants to get married needs to understand is there will be seasons in your marriage.

Oh, there will be those spring seasons, but there will be some hard seasons as well. Some of those hard seasons will come from the outside, and some of those hard seasons will come with the conflict within your marriage. What you need to understand is those seasons will come. Just understanding those hard seasons will come will help you keep your marriage in rhythm.

What I want to encourage you to do is when those hard seasons come… I was thinking about myown marriage. When my wife and I started ministry… I look at the first few years of ministry.We had some hard seasons on the outside. They were drawing us closer together. We realized God was using those hard seasons in ministry to make us more like Christ.

When we went through a church split, it was probably one of the hardest times in our lives, but it was probably one of the greatest times where we came together as one. See, that's what God does. He uses those hard seasons in your marriage to bring you together if you will allow him.Then we've had seasons where it wasn't things on the outside that were hard; it was our own relationship. We've had to work through those, but we believe God can even use those. He can use conflict to bring about oneness and bring about new seasons of growth.

It's so important when it comes to true romance that you are going to experience seasons in your marriage. Do not let the hard seasons destroy your marriage, but allow them to become a tool in the hands of God no matter how bad they may be. Let me just say this. I have seen marriages that biblically, one of those spouses had every right to say, "I can divorce you."

I have watched two couples. I have watched one, a best friend of mine, and I have watched another couple I've counseled. I've watched them say, "Do you know what? We're going to allow the gospel to bring healing and forgiveness to these relationships." They allowed God to take oneof the worst sins, the sin of infidelity in a marriage, and allowed that to heal them and to glorify God through it. You need to expect seasons in your marriage so you can keep your marriage in rhythm.

3. To grow in true romance you have to communicate satisfaction with your spouse. That will help you protect intimacy. This is not only with your words but also with your actions. You need to let your wife, you need to let your husband, know, "I am totally satisfied with you. I'm satisfied with you! I find satisfaction in you. I don't have to go outside of you to find satisfaction."

I want you to see how the husband communicates his satisfaction. Men, you may want to do this when you go home. I don't know if you want to use his words, but I would definitely use his template, because what he does is he starts with her feet, and he goes all the way to the top of her head. By doing that, he talks about her beauty. What he is saying is, "Everything about you satisfies me."

Now let's go along. Hey, this is the Bible, okay? This is the Word of God. "I can't believe the pastor said that." I didn't say it. I'm just reading it. Here we go. Verse 1 of chapter 7: "Howbeautiful are your feet in sandals, O noble daughter!" Husbands, have you ever looked down at your wife's feet and said, "Man, you have pretty feet"? The only thing I've heard from my wife is, "Honey, you need to cut your toenails." "Why?"

He says, "Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand." Those are good words! "Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine." I don't know. "Your belly is a heap of wheat, encircled with lilies." I am sure that meant something special. I'm just going to say, "Honey, you're as sweet as tupelo honey." Well, here we go. Let's get right into this.

"Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Youreyes are pools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bath-rabbim." I don't understand this one. "Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon, which looks toward Damascus." "I love your big nose." I don't know. "Your head crowns you like Carmel, and your flowing locks are like purple; a king is held captive in the tresses."

He gets very seductive here. "How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights!" "I delight in you! I find complete satisfaction in you." "Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples, 

and your mouth like the best wine."

I don't think I need to explain that. I don't think I want to explain that is what I'm trying to say.Some things you just need to do on your own. Okay. Now I want you to see what happens. He is saying, "Baby, you're all I need." Here's how she responds. "It goes down smoothly for my beloved, gliding over lips and teeth." Huh. Lips and teeth. We won't go there. Verse 10. "I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me."

She says, "I'm satisfied with you." She is saying it because she understands he is communicating satisfaction with her. It's more than just words. You see, words are cheap, right? Actions speak louder than words. He is communicating with words, but with his life, he is saying to his wife, "I am satisfied with you." It's so important that we communicate that satisfaction in our actions and in our words because it does protect intimacy.

Let me show you how. Let me give you a list of what I call nine signs that you're dissatisfied with your spouse. Dr. Danny Akin calls them "Nine Warnings Signs of Infidelity." In other words, if these signs are there, if you don't deal with them, you're on a road to disaster. Let's look at the first one.

This is a sign of dissatisfaction. First, the feeling of going through the marriage motions. Second,inventing excuses for visiting someone of the opposite sex. Third, increasing male/female contacts in normal environments. In other words, at work or maybe in the choir, you want to hang around the girls or the guys. See, you're increasing male or female contacts.

Fourth, being preoccupied with thoughts of another person (thoughts only you and God know). Fifth, exchanging gifts with friends of the opposite sex. Sixth, making daily/weekly contact with the opposite sex by phone, text, or social media. Go read the statistics of how many divorces have happened through social media.

Seventh, putting yourself in situations where a friend or employee might become more. Eighth,having to touch, embrace, or glance at a person of the opposite sex. Ninth, spending time alone with anyone of the opposite sex. All of those are signs of dissatisfaction. Now if you can relate toany of those signs, I want to encourage you as a couple to find help.

Listen. This is a hospital. This isn't a place where we say only those who have it together come. This is a place where we struggle. This is a place where we come in struggling. You need to understand we're all in this together. I want to encourage you to find help, counseling, whatever it takes, because if you don't deal with this dissatisfaction, it can lead you down a road of disaster and destruction.

I want you to see what happens. Remember, he is protecting intimacy by his communication of his satisfaction. Here's how she responds to that. Verse 11: "Come, my beloved, let us go out into the fields and lodge in the villages; let us go out early to the vineyards and see whether the vines have budded, whether the grape blossoms have opened and the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my love. The mandrakes give forth fragrance, and beside our doors are all choice fruits, new as well as old, which I have laid up for you, O my beloved."

In other words, she is saying, "Okay, honey. Let's get together. Let's be alone. Let's be intimate." Communicating satisfaction with your spouse protects that intimacy. Men, what we say, how we say it, will have a great effect on our intimacy with our spouses, whether good or bad. I want to make a statement here about growing in true romance. Maybe as a man you might say, "Well, I don't agree with you, Preacher." Watch this.

I believe growing in true romance is a part of spiritual growth. The reason I believe that is it's in the Bible. It's in the idea of marriage that God gave us in the Song of Solomon. They didn't stop romance after the wedding. He continued to grow in appreciation for his wife. He continued to communicate satisfaction with his wife. What that tells me is that God gives us a picture of an ideal marriage, and he gives us a picture of two people cultivating true romance in their relationship.

That tells me that a part of us growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, especially in the area of our marriages, that means we, by the power of Jesus, men, need to stop being forgetful. We need to stop being lazy. We need to deal with the sin that has hindered our relationship and possibly brought conflict into our relationship. This is husband and wife together.

We need to deal with the focus on the outward and not the inward beauty of the person. I truly believe (and I say that as one who really needs to grow in this area) if we're going to grow spiritually as a couple, then that cultivation, that growth, needs to take place in your relationship to one another in the area of romance. I believe growing in romance is synonymous with growing in grace.

I think there's a great challenge for all of us here. First of all, obviously the couples. Are you growing in grace? Are you growing in romance? Are you just too lazy and forgetful? Maybe there's conflict in your relationship, and romance isn't even a thought. All you can think about is, "How am I going to kill him? I can't divorce him, but maybe I can kill him."

Are you growing in grace? Is your family growing in grace? I want to challenge single parents here. Obviously you don't have a mate, but you have children you're to lead. You need to teach them all about grace, all about what grace means. You know, grace isn't something we earn. It's something Jesus earned. Y'all understand that, right? We don't earn favor from God; Jesus earned it for us. Do y'all understand that?

There's nothing we can do to earn more favor from Jesus. There's something we can do to get a greater fellowship with him. The Bible says if we obey his commands, he will come and abide with us and make his home with us. That's more fellowship. But you're not going to get any more favor. You have all the favor you need, because Jesus earned it for you. That's what grace is! You obey because you have all the favor you need!

Parents, we need to teach that. We need to exhibit that in our families. I want to challenge even single moms or dads. I know there's a challenge. Boy, we pray for you. I want to challenge you to lead your children in what it means to experience grace. Then for single people, grow in grace. Remember to become that right person. Become that right person!

Here's my challenge. First of all, it's to couples. Husbands, I want to challenge you today that if you're not growing in this area of true romance… I want to challenge you husbands: you leadyour family. You lead your wife. You be the first one to repent. You be the first one to pray. You be the first one to say, "Forgive me." You! You lead.

Then I want to challenge single parents to lead. Lead! I want to challenge single people to follow Jesus. Then I want to challenge you here today. Some of you have never trusted Christ as your Lord and Savior. Jesus wants to lead you to eternal life. In fact, his arms are open wide, and he says today, "I love you. I've died for you."

You can have eternal life. All you have to do is acknowledge your sin, turn from your sin, and place your faith in the saving work of Christ. If you'll do that today and follow Christ, he says, "I will give you life, and I will give it to you more abundantly." Let's bow our heads and close our eyes.

God is speaking to you this morning as a husband, as a wife, as a single parent, or just as a single person, a young person. You think, "Well, this whole thing about romance isn't about me." Well, romance is about spiritual growth. If you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you need to grow. I want to challenge you to follow Jesus.

I want to challenge marriages today. Husbands, lead your wife. Husband, you may want to bring your wife, you may want to bring your whole family, to the altar this morning just to say, "I want to be the leader in my family. I want to lead them in growth. I want to lead them in growing in grace."

You might be here this morning, and you know you need Jesus Christ. You're ready to trust him. Jesus is leading you to faith, and he'll give you that faith. In a moment when we sing, I want to invite you. If you feel led to bring your family, to lead your family, to the altar, you come. If you want to come as a single person, you come. If you want to come as a person needing Christ, you come, and you grab me by the hand.

Father, we thank you for your grace. We thank you for your mercy. Lead us. Lead us during this time as we respond to you and your Word to us this morning. In Christ's name, amen.

First Southern Baptist Church                                                                                                10

Bryant, AR