Going to the Chapel

First Southern Baptist Church

Dr. Patrick Mead

Series: God's Love Song

May 18, 2014

Going to the Chapel

Song of Solomon 3:6-11; 4; 5:1

Six years ago, I was asked to officiate a wedding. I'd never seen one done this way before, let alone done it. The bride and the groom wanted their ceremony to resemble an ancient Jewish wedding. Instead of here comes the bride, it was here comes the groom. The bride and the bridesmaids waited along with me. They had lanterns in their hands. They waited for the groom to come and get the bride. So when the groom and the groomsmen came in, I then performed the covenant marriage. It was a tremendous experience.

I share that with you today because the study of Song of Solomon takes us to the wedding day of the couple in this love story. It's much like the wedding I performed for that couple six years ago. So it's very important for us to really understand what is transpiring in our text today. It's important that we understand the background of ancient Jewish weddings and the whole marriage process.

It was about a six-step process, and it started with the father, the father of the groom. He had the responsibility of going out and finding a bride for his son. You see that in the Old Testament. For instance, Abraham sent his servant to go and find a wife for Isaac. You see that time and time again. So it was the father who went out and chose a bride.

Once he chose the bride, he then entered into negotiations with the father of the bride. They would come up with a contract and what they call a bride price. It was the responsibility of the father of the groom to pay that price. Once he paid the price, then the couple became betrothed, something like our engagement but a little bit more serious. It was like they were married. For them to break off the engagement, they basically had to go through a divorce. They were betrothed, but they did not live together. They did not consummate the relationship yet. 

So the son went back home with the father, and the daughter stayed with her parents and her father. Then what happened is the father of the groom would decide when his son was ready to go and get the bride. Usually it took about a year because the father wanted to make sure his son was able to provide for the bride. Nobody knew when that time would be, when he would send his son to go get his bride. Only the father would know that.

When he did, when it was time, what the father would do is he would send a messenger ahead of the groom. He would go down to the bride's house to let them know the groom was coming. Then the groom would make his way with his groomsmen. Of course there would be a procession. People would see it was a wedding party. They wanted to go to the wedding party. So it would grow through the journey.

Finally, they would come to the bride's house. That's where the wedding would take place. They would have what they call a marriage feast. Let me tell you, they know how to party, those Jewish people. They didn't do it just for a couple of hours; they did it for about seven days of feasting and celebrating. During that time, the man and the woman, the groom and the bride, would exchange vows. 

Then after the feast, the groom would take his bride. They would go back home to the groom's house, because that would become their home, and they would consummate the relationship. That's what is taking place in our text today. What we're going to see in our text today is what I believe makes a great wedding, a great marriage, what makes a God-glorifying marriage.

1. A great wedding is a celebration. It's found in verses 6-11 of chapter 3. Now in the Encyclopedia of Judaism, it states weddings may take place on any day other than a Sabbath, festival, day of public mourning, or during the period between Passover and Pentecost. The reason is one may neither mix the holiness of a wedding with the holiness of a holiday nor lessen the joy of the wedding with the sadness of mourning or other unhappiness. It was a time of celebration. It was a time of joy. So you didn't do it at a time of mourning.

We see that joy expressed with the groom. In the last part of verse 11, it says, "…on the day of his wedding, on the day of the gladness of his heart." He is excited. He is full of joy that now he is going to commit his life to the woman he loves. Now there are several things that are being celebrated at this wedding.

First, they're celebrating God's providence. Look at verse 6. It says, "What is that coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders of a merchant?" Now there's great debate and discussion about the meaning of verse 6. Some believe it stands alone; it's somewhat of a transition verse. Some believe it's speaking of the woman. Others believe it is speaking of Solomon.

I agree with the scholars who believe this is an allusion to God leading the people of God, the people of Israel, out of the wilderness. Look at the imagery there. "Who is that coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke…?" God leading his people, Israel, out of the wilderness. By making that allusion, what the couple is doing here is declaring that they understand that God is the one who brought them together. This is God's plan unfolding for their lives.

Secondly, they're celebrating God's presence. The Song of Solomon doesn't mention God at all, yet we see God in the actions of the couple. The very fact that they are able to control their God-given desires to be with each other intimately tells me this couple understands that God is first in their lives, and they want to please God. 

Now there's this declaration that God is leading them to this point, and so his leadership has been in their relationship. His presence has been in their relationship. Now he has brought them to this glorious day, this wedding day, this celebration. It's going to be a happy and holy occasion of two people being brought together by God's unfolding plan for them. They're declaring God's presence is not only at the wedding, but his presence is going to be in their marriage throughout their marriage. 

Thirdly, they're celebrating God's protection. Look at verses 7 and 8. "Behold, it is the litter of Solomon! Around it are sixty mighty men, some of the mighty men of Israel, all of them wearing swords and expert in war, each with his sword at his thigh, against terror by night." Now I thought having six people in my wedding was just outrageous, and I had to borrow one of Christy's friends. I didn't even have enough friends. She had too many friends. "Let me borrow one of your friends." I actually knew him, but he was closer to Christy than he was for me.

Can you imagine 60 men, 60 groomsmen? Not only are they just regular guys, but these are the mighty men. He is coming to his bride, and that's the picture. Here comes the groom. Not here comes the bride; here comes the groom to get his bride. As he is coming, he is bringing 60 valiant, fighting men. By bringing those men, he is saying to her, "I am going to protect you because when I take you back to my home, I will give you security. I will give you safety. I will give you protection."

That's what a wedding is. It's celebrating a man taking a woman and saying, "I'm going to protect her. I'm going to secure her. I'm going to give her safety." You don't want anybody at your wedding going, "Oh my goodness, it's never going to work." You want them to celebrate the fact that that man is going to take care of that woman no matter what. 

Fourthly, they're celebrating God's provision. Verses 9 and 10: "King Solomon made himself a carriage from the wood of Lebanon." I want to stop right there, because obviously Solomon wrote this. If I were a king, I wouldn't be building that myself. I'm going to hire somebody, because quite frankly, I can. 

I can't build a thing. I can barely fix a garbage disposal. My wife was so happy that I fixed our garbage disposal yesterday. My wife would love to have a handyman for a husband, but she didn't get one. She got a theologian who doesn't know much. When I do fix things, they tend to be more broken than they were before I tried to fix them. That's why I have to have David, as my friend because I take my lawn mower and stuff over to David.

This is what he is doing. It's King Solomon himself showing his ability to provide from the wood of Lebanon. "He made its post of silver, its back of gold, its seat of purple; its interior was inlaid with love by the daughters of Jerusalem." He did not hold back. He gave his best. He is showing her his ability to provide, to give her security, to give her safety, and he is going to give himself to her completely. "I love you," he says, "and I'm going to give you my best." 

Fifthly, they're celebrating God's participation. This is so important when it becomes a great wedding. Look at verse 11. "Go out, O daughters of Zion, and look upon King Solomon, with the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, on the day of the gladness of his heart." 

Do you see this? Friends and family are all participating in this wedding. They're approving of the wedding. Mom is giving him a crown, and the daughters of Jerusalem are all participating in this. If your friends and family cannot participate in a marriage, a wedding, because they don't think you belong together, then I would suggest don't do it. 

When I met Christy, I was actually engaged to another woman. That's what kind of woman Christy is. She stole me. Actually when I met Christy the very first time, we were at a picnic our Bible college put on every fall for new students. I remember going to the picnic. I had my fiancée, and Christy was on the Student Council. She was blonde and smiley and happy. She introduced herself to me and to my fiancée. Little did I know that she would become my wife.

Now the woman I was engaged to… We had set the date three times and postponed it three times for good reason: her parents. Now at the time, I thought they were crazy. I have since been able to tell them, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." They were so wise. They had insight, and they knew we really did not belong together. I thank God for her parents and their inability to participate and celebrate us coming together, because God had a greater plan.

I say when it comes to a wedding coming together, you want to have parents and friends to be able to celebrate in the joy of two people coming together because God's plan is unfolding for them. Each time when we come together and we celebrate a wedding, the people who were there and participating, family and friends, want to be able to drink of the joy of that relationship. A great wedding is a celebration.

2. A great wedding expresses commitment to one another with covenantal vows. Now you don't see explicit vows in the text, but they are implied. Remember this is the time during that marriage feast that they would commit themselves together. They would take vows, exchange vows. They would be married. We don't see explicit vows, but we know they're implied.

First of all, verses 9-10. The very fact that Solomon is giving his best to the woman is a sign he is committing himself. Then we see it in chapter 4, because in chapter 4, the man begins to really use creative compliments for his bride. Look at verse 1. "Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful!" 

Now go down to verse 7, and you see kind of an inclusio there. In verse 7, it says, "You are altogether beautiful, my love…" So what he does in the first seven verses is he begins to express his commitment through creative compliments. He talks about the beauty of the woman he is about to commit his life to and exchange vows with. 

He says, "Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead." Now we don't understand that, but they lived in a shepherd culture. They could picture these goats with this long, black hair. As they were going down the mountains, the sun would shine. Their coats would shimmer. He is basically telling her, "Your hair is beautiful, just like goats." 

Oh, it gets better. Listen to what else he says. Verse 2. I love this one. "Your teeth…" Now is Dr. Hogue here? All right. He is my dentist. Now they didn't have the great dentistry we have today, so this puts all of this in perspective, okay? "Your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes that have come up from the washing…" 

In other words, they're white, but not only are they white. "…all of which bear twins, and not one among them has lost its young." "You have white teeth, and none of them are missing," is what he is saying. Obviously she wasn't from Oklahoma, right? That's what he is saying. "You have beautiful hair. You have all your teeth. They're white." Oh, and he doesn't stop. 

"Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil. Your neck is like the tower of David, built in rows of stones; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that graze among the lilies. Until the day breathes and the shadows flee, I will go away to the mountain of myrrh and the hill of frankincense." 

Verse 7: "You are altogether beautiful, my love…" Watch this. This shows you that love is blind. He says, "…there is no flaw in you." Now Christy's grandfather, before we got married… In fact, her grandfather and her dad walked her down the aisle. Her grandfather said, "Now are you sure you want to go through this? You know love is blind, and marriage is an institution. You're about to commit yourself to a blind institution for the rest of your life."

The truth of the matter is when two people come together, they are fallen people because of sin, amen? Yeah. We are imperfect people. We have sin in our lives. What is he saying? The word he uses where it says no flaw is the same word that is used of the animal sacrifices you are to bring without any blemish, no flaw. He is saying she is perfect.

Now he knows she is not perfect, but what he is saying, and what the implication here is, "You're perfect for me. You're mine. God has brought us together. You are the right one, and you are perfect. You are without flaw." Quite frankly, when you get into marriage, it's pretty wise that you think… I know my wife does. She has to have some kind of glasses on to think I'm something. The reality is love covers over a multitude of sins, right? What he is saying is, "There is a commitment in this that I love you. I'm committing myself to you. You are mine."

Now the reason I believe they've made that commitment is because of what he says in verse 8. The very next thing he says in verse 8 is, "Come with me from Lebanon, my bride…" Now he is calling her bride. No longer love. Now she is my bride. He says, "Time to come home." In other words, they've committed their lives. They've exchanged vows. They are now in a covenant relationship. They are in a marriage. Now he says, "It's time to go home."

We live in a day where couples don't take vows very seriously anymore. That's why I love doing covenant marriages, because when a couple says, "We want to do a covenant," I try to encourage them because what you are saying is, "We are going to be really serious about these vows. What we say to one another on that wedding day is how we will relate to one another." We don't see that much today, do we?

I want to share some vows I came across last week. They're based upon Ephesians, chapter 5, and I think I'm going to incorporate these into my covenant marriages. I want you to hear what the husband says. It's on the back of your bulletin. I put them on there so you could have them. This was written by Paige Patterson and his wife, Dorothy. It is based upon Ephesians 5, verses 22-23. 

The husband says, "I covenant today, sacrificially to love you as Jesus loves His church. I covenant to bestow always upon you abundant honor. I will seek to know your needs and to provide for them materially, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will seek your wellbeing, happiness, and success above my own. 

Above all, I covenant to be the spiritual leader of our union, to provide a spiritual example through my walk with Christ, to teach the Bible, to pray for my family, and to lead family worship. I will be faithful to you physically, mentally, and emotionally and avoid all that is pornographic, impure, or unholy. I will not be angry or bitter against you nor allow the sun to go down on my wrath. I will not keep books on evil. 

I will cultivate tender affection for you both in private and in public. I will compassionately give to you my body and spirit in the union which we alone enjoy together. I covenant this day to accept the role of servant leader and to be to my children and grandchildren, should God grant, a compassionate, encouraging, and guiding father. This day I seal this covenant for as long as we both shall live." Those are covenant vows. 

Now listen to the woman's. "I covenant this day to love and respect you with all the fervency of my being. I covenant to make our home a place of repose and comfort. I will honor you as the spiritual leader of our home. I will devote myself to you and the offspring God may give above all others. I will graciously submit to your servant leadership never allowing the sun to go down on my wrath.

I will not keep books on evil. I will regard my responsibilities as wife and mother as priority above all else except God. I will seek your wellbeing, happiness, and success rather than my own. I will compassionately give to you my body and spirit in the union which we alone enjoy together. This day, I seal this covenant for as long as we both shall live."

Both of those vows say, "I'm giving myself for you." That's what I tell couples all the time. It's about giving yourself 100 percent to your spouse. If you will give yourself 100 percent to your spouse and your spouse gives 100 percent, you don't have to worry about yourself. That's what happens in the text. They make a covenant. They exchange vows. They take those vows very seriously. A great wedding expresses a commitment to one another with covenantal vows.

3. A great wedding anticipates the consummation of the marriage. Now they've committed themselves. Now they're ready to go on a honeymoon, or at least the guy is. In fact, to say he is a little excited is probably… Well, yeah. He is very excited, and I want you to hear what he says. Verse 8. This is why I say they've already made the commitment. Now he says, "Let's go to my house. Come on." 

"Come with me from Lebanon, my bride; come with me from Lebanon. Depart from the peak of Amana, from the peak of Senir and Hermon, from the dens of lions, from the mountains of leopards. You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice! 

Your lips drip nectar, my bride; honey and milk are under your tongue; the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a spring locked, a fountain sealed. Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates with all the choicest fruits, henna with nard, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all choice spices—a garden fountain, a well of living water, and flowing streams from Lebanon." Yeah, he is excited. "Come on. Let's go home." 

Here's what she says, "Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits." In verse 1, it says, "I came to my garden, my sister, my bride, I gathered my myrrh with my spice, I ate my honeycomb with my honey, I drank my wine with my milk." In other words, they consummated the relationship. 

They waited. They waited until there was that commitment to one another. Now they can enjoy sexual activity the way God designed it, in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman. It's a sad day when I have to define that, isn't it? It is between a man and a woman. It is in a covenant marriage relationship where man and woman commit themselves to each other until death do they part. That's how God designed it. 

Here's something I want you to see. I know some of the younger families were just so terrified that I was going to be doing the honeymoon. That wasn't so bad, was it? It's really going to get good. This is the best part, because when it comes to a marriage, there is something more glorious than just two people coming together because of God's plan.

4. A great wedding invokes contemplation of the glory of God in the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you read the Bible, then you know Jesus loved to use the wedding ceremony, that imagery, to describe the gospel, right? Well, let's go back and think about the process I defined at the very first. 

If you think about it, in Ephesians, chapter 5, the church is called the…what? The bride of Christ, right? If you go to Ephesians, chapter 1, it says God the Father chose the bride of Christ before the foundation of the earth. Uh-huh. Right? That's what it says. God the Father chose us in him to be holy and blameless before the foundation of the earth. 

So God the Father chose the bride, and then God the Father paid the price, right? What was the price? Was it silver or gold? No, no, no, no. It wasn't silver or gold, but it was the precious blood of Jesus Christ. It was Calvary, where Jesus would be the price. He would pay the bride price to redeem us from our sins.

Now as believers, we are betrothed to Jesus, right? We are engaged to Jesus. Ephesians tells us the moment you believe, you are given a down payment. You're given an engagement ring called the Holy Spirit. Right? Yeah. So now we wait and we watch. We wait for our groom to come get his bride. He consummates his kingdom.

Jesus used that language in John, chapter 14. He said, "In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself…" I will come and get my bride, and I will take her to myself. "…that where I am you may be also."

A great wedding should always be a picture of the glory of God revealed in the gospel of Jesus Christ. A gospel-centered marriage and a gospel-centered family becomes a fountain of grace for all to come and drink from. So I challenge you today. The King is coming. That's that last, final act we're waiting for, the consummation. The question is…Are you ready? Have you given your life to Jesus? 

He has paid the price, and now we have a responsibility to turn from our sin and to turn from ourselves and to place our faith in the saving work of Christ. The moment we believe in the gospel is the moment we are betrothed to Jesus. We belong to Jesus. Now we wait, we work, and we watch until our groom comes to get us. Have you turned from your sin and self? Have you trusted Jesus? Let's bow our heads and our hearts.

Marriage points to the glory of God revealed in the gospel of Jesus Christ. That's how God designed it. My prayer for you today is that you will be at that marriage feast and that you will enjoy the consummation of God's kingdom because you have trusted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. 

My prayer is for marriages that are here today to become gospel-centered and gospel-focused and to allow the gospel of Jesus Christ to just guide every aspect of your marriage, your relationship, your family, and allow your family to become a fountain of grace so others can participate and others can see the glory of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

If you need Jesus, will you commit your life to Jesus today? If you need the gospel to be the center of your life, will you commit yourself to that? Will you put God first in your life? If the gospel needs to be first in your marriage, will you put the gospel first in your marriage and your family? Right now where you are, express the commitment you're making to Jesus today. 

If it's for the first time as Lord and Savior, as we sing, I'm going to invite you to come to the front and grab me by hand and say, "Pastor, I need Jesus." It could very well be that you have strayed, and it's time that you come back and rededicate your life. God welcomes you back always. Husbands and wives, God always welcomes you back. He wants to be first, and he wants to be a part of your relationship. Make that commitment now.

Father, thank you for sending your Son as the bride price, for giving us Jesus so we could have eternal life. For that person here today who doesn't know Jesus, I pray that they would be bold enough to say, "I want Jesus." I pray for that family, that marriage that needs Jesus, God, that you come and you heal them. We thank you for Jesus. Have your way. In Jesus' name, amen. 

Let's stand, let's sing, and let's respond.