When I Said I Do...Forever and Ever, Amen

Forever and Ever, Amen

Song of Solomon 8:5-14

What we're going to see and what we're learning from the Song of Solomon is this: a lasting love, a love that lasts a lifetime, demands faithful commitment. It demands faithful commitment, and these closing verses really sum up the main theme of the whole book. This is the picture of the ideal marriage.

An ideal marriage is characterized by a love that lasts a lifetime, and love that lasts a lifetime demands faithful commitment. Truth be told, whether you're in your first marriage or you've been married a hundred times, if you're married right now, the marriage you are in needs to be a love that lasts a lifetime. The only way that will happen is if there is a faithful commitment on both parts, by both spouses.

What we do as we come to the end of the Song of Solomon… We're going to see the characteristics of true love. We're going to see, really, a love that lasts a lifetime, the kind of love that lasts a lifetime, the kind of love that expresses a faithful commitment. Let me give you several things that characterize a love that lasts a lifetime.

1. A love that lasts a lifetime supports one another in the "for better or worse" seasons of life. Let's pick up the story in verse 5. The very first part of verse 5 says this. "Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?" You have a picture of the husband and wife. They're coming out of the wilderness, and the wife is walking side-by-side with her husband, and she's leaning on her beloved.

This isn't the first time we've seen the wilderness mentioned in this wonderful song. Back on the wedding day, it mentioned the wilderness and how there was a cloud coming out of the wilderness. This was symbolic of how God was leading the husband, the couple, the bride and the groom, how he was leading them to this point.

It's also symbolic of how God would lead the people of Israel in those 40 years in the wilderness. He was also leading them. Here it has that same connotation. It's symbolic of the hardships because if you read the story of the Israelites coming out of the wilderness or being in the wilderness for 40 years, you will see it was characterized by difficulties, struggles, hardships.

What we have here is a picture of a couple who is coming out of the difficulties, the seasons of marriage, the seasons of life… Because there are those better times, and there are those worse times. This is one of those worse times where they have experienced some difficulty. Yet the people are seeing that they're still together. They're walking side-by-side. In fact, she's leaning on her husband, maybe even setting her head on his shoulder.

That word for leaning means to support, to trust, to find rest. That's what it means to support one another, that you go through these hardships in life and hardships through marriage, and you come together. This is where we talk about becoming one. God said that the man shall leave his mother and father, and he shall cling to his wife, and the two shall become one. Not that they lose their identities, but they grow closer together, not apart.

This couple, through the seasons of life, the "for better or for worse" seasons of life, is growing together. It's the people noticing their relationship, that they are one. They are together, and they're not growing apart, but they're growing closer. I like how The Passion translation translates the first part of verse 5. It says, "Who is this one? Look at her now. She arises from the desert of difficulty…" It translates "the wilderness" as the desert of difficulty. "…clinging to her beloved."

"Who is this coming out? Two people clinging to one another, leaning on one another as they go through the difficulties of life." A love that lasts a lifetime demands faithful commitment by two people to one another, to support one another through the "for better or for worse" seasons of life.

That's why we put "for better or for worse" in the vows. That's something that has been lost in our culture. A love that lasts a lifetime, a love that is "forever and ever, amen" has two people supporting one another, clinging to one another, leaning on one another through the seasons of life.

2. A love that lasts a lifetime acknowledges God's lordship in the marriage. The last part of verse 5 says, "Under the apple tree I awakened you." This is the woman speaking. Verse 5 is the others, the people noticing, and they're saying, "Who is this coming out of the wilderness?" People are seeing their love and their togetherness. It's public.

Then you have the woman. She's singing. She said, "Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you; there she who bore you was in labor." This isn't the first time we've heard that word awakened. In fact, it's used several times in the warning the woman gives to the daughters of Jerusalem. Go back to verse 4. There is the last warning we see, but she gave at least three warnings to the daughters of Jerusalem.

She said in verse 4, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." She's warning them, "Don't awaken love." In this context, love is romantic love that results in sexual intimacy. She's saying, "Don't awaken it until its proper time." The proper time to awaken that type of intimacy is in the context of a marriage relationship. Now they're married. Now they've said, "I do." Now she says, "I have awakened love."

Now is the right time for true romance that results in sexual intimacy. It's in the context of a covenant relationship, a marriage between a husband and a wife, a man and a woman. Watch this. She says, "Under the apple tree I awakened you." The apple tree is symbolic of romantic love. It is symbolic of intimacy.

On one level, she says to her husband when she starts talking about his mother being in labor under the apple tree… She's basically saying, "We're doing the same thing your parents did when you were conceived." Okay? You just figured that one out. On one level, she says, "I awakened your love, and the very thing that brought you into the world we are now enjoying."

There is a deeper level here because when she makes reference to the fact that his mother gave birth to him under the apple tree, what she is declaring and what they are doing is acknowledging that God, in his great plan and destiny for these two, brought them together, that he was born for this time, to be in this relationship.

If you're like me, you believe that God has a plan. He said to Israel, "For I know I the plans I have for you…" Right? He can say it to you as an individual. "I know the plans I have for you." What they are doing and what she is doing is acknowledging that a part of God's plan and destiny for her life and for his life is that those two will become one. They're acknowledging.

They've done this before, even in chapter 3 when they were coming out of the wilderness. What they were doing was acknowledging that God had brought them together. She's still acknowledging, "God has brought us together." You know, to know that God brought you together… By the way, if you do get married, and if you have any question of whether or not God brought you together, don't do it. You need to have an assurance that, "God brought us together," because that assurance will also keep you faithfully committed.

"God brought us together," and what God brings together, let no man tear apart. I want to share this with you. I've never shared this in a sermon before. Hey, it is Pentecost Sunday, right? On Pentecost, it says that God would pour out his Spirit, and the old men will dream dreams and have visions and all that stuff. Well, I've only shared this with a few people, but I've never shared it in a sermon.

I knew I was going to marry Christy before I even had a date. It gets better. I knew I was going to marry Christy before I ever broke off that previous relationship I was in. I knew I was going to marry her. You say, "How did you know?" It was soon after we had that divine appointment connection in our family and marriage dynamics class where I said, "We have a lot in common."

It was just a few days after that. I remember I had a dream. This is the only time this has ever happened to me. In this dream, God was telling me I was going to marry Christy Brashear. I even woke up. I remember waking up and sitting in my bed and saying, "God, what are you trying to tell me?" The next morning, I had this great confidence. I had never even been on a date with her.

I went to my mom. Back then, Criswell College had these student handbooks. They would take the pictures at the beginning of the semester so you would know the students. I went in to my mom. I was living with her at the time. I said, "Look, mom. I'm going to marry this girl right here." My mom wasn't a believer at the time. She just awkwardly said, "Okay."

"No, I'm going to marry her."

"How do you know?"

"I had a dream last night. God told me I'm going to marry her."

Then I told the girl I was engaged to. "You're not going to believe this. I had a dream, and there is this blonde-haired girl at school who God told me I'm going to marry." Now her dad did not like that. That relationship was gone after that. I'm telling you the truth. We had our date, and 19 years later, I have married the woman God wanted me to marry.

I share that with you because God is the one who brought us together. Through that relationship, we acknowledge the lordship of Christ in our relationship. There is nothing greater you can do for your life and for your marriage than to acknowledge the lordship of Christ and to surrender to the lordship of Christ in your life and to make Christ and his kingdom and his righteousness the priority of your life, the priority of your marriage.

When you acknowledge God's lordship in your life, what you're doing is acquiescing to his leadership. You're saying, "Lord, I'm putting you first. I want your will for my life, however difficult that may be." I remember praying as I was still in that relationship with that girl and wondering, "Is this the girl I'm supposed to marry after three times calling off the wedding? God, I'm so emotionally involved, I don't know what to do. I'm putting it into your hands."

Guess what. If you'll put it into God's hands, he'll take care of it. The truth of the matter is love is painful, and there are going to be seasons of pain in every relationship and every marriage. In a couple who is committed to one another, I believe it takes an acknowledgment that, "Christ has first place in our marriage. We're going to seek his kingdom. We're going to seek his righteousness. We're going to seek his glory."

The beauty of those painful seasons in marriage is this. Though they may be painful, they can be fruitful. Can I get an, "Amen"? Though they may be painful, they can become something very fruitful. When they become fruitful, it glorifies the Lord.

3. A love that lasts a lifetime protects the marriage at all costs. We see that in verses 6-10. I'm going to give you four ingredients to protecting your marriage at all costs. All of these are in the text. First of all, you need passion. Passion will protect marriage at all costs. Look at verse 6. The woman is still speaking. She's still singing. She says, "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death…" What imagery. "…jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord."

She sings, and she says to the husband, "I want you to set me as a seal upon your heart and then upon your arm." What does that mean? Well, a seal was a signature that a king or someone would stamp on something to say, "This belongs to me." If it was a law, he would stamp it with his seal and say, "This law is coming from me." If it was a possession, he would stamp that possession and say, "It's mine. I own this."

What she is saying is, "I want you to put your name on me. I want you to set me as a seal upon your heart and a seal upon your arm." In this context, it speaks of her being so valuable that he won't want to depart from her. It speaks of value. What's she's saying is, "I want you to so love me with such great passion that you love me with all of your strength. Seal me upon your arm." That's the symbol of strength. "I want you to love me with all of your strength."

Then she says, "Seal me upon your heart." She's saying, "I want you to love me with all of your being." Passion. Passion protects a marriage. Then she goes on. She describes this type of passion, this type of love. "…for love is as strong as death…" What does that mean? Well, death is irreversible, right? As much as we try, we're all going to die. Of course, Jesus has conquered death, but truth be told, it has been appointed to every one of us to die and then face judgment.

In that same manner, just as death is irreversible, the kind of love it takes, the kind of passion it takes to protect your marriage, is the kind of passion and love that says, "My love for my spouse…for my wife, for my husband…is irreversible, no matter what." Then she says, "…jealousy is fierce as the grave." Think about that. The grave does not give up the dead. Right? Yeah. It doesn't give up. It doesn't give up the dead.

We often think of jealousy as something very negative, but not in this case. This is not connected with envy, wanting something you can't have. You see, our God is a jealous God, right? For us to have a passionate love that is jealous for the other person means we are so concerned for that person, and we look out for the interests of that person. We want the best for that person. You see, God is a jealous God because he knows what is best for us, and he wants what is best for us, right?

See, when you're passionately in love with your spouse, you're jealous in the sense that you want the best for your spouse. You realize, "The decisions I make could hurt my spouse, could hurt my wife, could hurt my husband." It takes that type of passion that says, "I'm going to love my wife. I'm going to love my husband with all of my strength, with all of my being. I'm going to look out for that person. I'm going to look out for my spouse. I want the best for my spouse." It takes passion.

It also takes perseverance. The first part of verse 7 says, "Many waters cannot quench love,neither can floods drown it." You have this passionate love, this fire. What she is saying is, "No matter what comes our way, no matter how serious the situation we may be going through, nothing can quench this love. No matter what, we're going to persevere. We're going to stick together. We're not going to quit on each other. We're going to work through this." That's the type of love that lasts a lifetime, when it's passionate and when it perseveres.

The third truth is that it's priceless. The last part of verse 7 says, "If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised." Simply put, you can't buy love. No money in the world can purchase love. If you think money will buy you love, then you don't have love. The love you purchase isn't love because true love is given. Right? You can't buy that. It's given.

What she is saying and what this text is teaching us is that when you find love and you find a spouse and they give you love, you have found something that is priceless. You have found something you can't buy with money. You have a treasured gift from God that somebody loves you. I think about that all the time. I think, "My goodness. I can't leave my wife. I don't know anybody else foolish enough to marry me." I mean, somebody loves me. By the grace of God, she was blinded for just long enough to say, "I do." Now she's still blinded, obviously.

The point is I have somebody who has given love to me. I can't purchase that. I can't buy that. No job is worth losing that type of love. Amen? No temptation or flirtatious temptation is worth giving it all up, or some demonic lie that says, "You know what? If you just had the right person, the grass would be greener." That type of stuff. "If you just had the right person, then you would be happy." Let me tell you it's not about having the right person; it's about being the right person. It's priceless.

Here's the fourth truth. The fourth ingredient to protecting your marriage at all costs is purity. What we have here are her brothers. They're singing, and they're piping in. We're going to the past before they got married. It says in verse 8, "We have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar."

What he is saying is she's not at the point of maturity. Now that she's spoken for and there is this season of getting to know each other, the betrothal… That's what they did. They were betrothed, and they still didn't have sexual relationships. It was usually a year or so before they actually had the wedding ceremony. Here is what the brothers are saying. Here is the value of a good family. They're going to help her stay pure. They're going to help her seek holiness in this relationship.

Then, of course, she's going to respond. Verse 10. "I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers…" She didn't give in to the desires she had. She knew there was a proper context for sexual desire and sexual intimacy, and that was in the context of a committed marriage relationship. Even before they got married, they sought purity and holiness, and they were full of self-discipline. They disciplined themselves to stay pure and holy.

What they did is wait for the marriage. They waited for the wedding night. What they did is lay a foundation, a foundation of purity and holiness to build upon. When they said, "I do," they could bring that same purity and holiness into the marriage relationship. The same is true if you are married. One of the ways you protect your marriage at all costs is to pursue purity and holiness.

4. A love that lasts a lifetime gives oneself to the other completely. In the very last part of verse 10, she says, "…then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace [favor]." Then it says in verse 11, "Solomon had a vineyard at Baal-hamon; he let out the vineyard to keepers; each one was to bring for its fruit a thousand pieces of silver. My vineyard, my very own, is before me; you, O Solomon, may have the thousand, and the keepers of the fruit two hundred." In other words, "I give you myself. I give to you myself completely."

He says in verse 13, "O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice; let me hear it." You see, this is what marriage is, and this is what oneness is: two people coming together and giving oneself to the other completely. That's what it is. "Everything I have is yours." Not that they lose identity, but they have this oneness identity. "Now I give myself to my wife," and vice versa. "She gives herself to me."

You see, marriage isn't 50-50. It's 100 percent-100 percent. Husbands, it's you being as Christ is to the church. Christ didn't give 50-50, did he? What did he give? Everything. A love that lasts a lifetime demands faithful commitment. A faithful commitment supports one another through those better and worse seasons of life, acknowledges the lordship of Christ in the relationship, protects the marriage at all costs with passion, perseverance, pricelessness, realizing what you have can't be bought with money, and then purity.

You have two people becoming one, and they give themselves to one another. Here is what happens. When you put all this together, and you have a love that lasts a lifetime with faithful commitment, that faithful commitment creates a marriage that reflects the glory of God. I want you to look at this last verse. The woman is speaking to her husband. She's saying, "Make haste, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountains of spices."

What a way to end it. "Come on home, honey." That's what she's saying. "Come on." I believe that when you have two people who are working at having a love that lasts a lifetime, it is work. Can I get an, "Amen"? It doesn't happen on its own. It takes work. When you have two people faithfully committed to one another and enjoying each another, what happens in that relationship is the home becomes a place to be, not a place to avoid.

Sadly, I've been around pastors who didn't like to go home. They would do anything they could to avoid going home. You see, when you have a love that lasts a lifetime, it becomes a place to be, a place where joy is experienced between a husband and wife. What happens is that joy overflows. You have children, and it overflows into the children. Then it overflows into the world, and the world begins to see this joy you have because you're walking hand-in-hand through the good times and the bad times.

What happens is your marriage begins to reflect the glory of God. I want you to hear what Augustine said. He said something like, "Where there is love there is trinity: a lover, a beloved, and a spirit of love." Is that not a good statement? Where there is true romance, the kind we see right here in this wonderful psalm, what you have is a reflection of the triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Thank God I made it through the Song of Solomon. Let me tell you. It has been tough. We spent seven weeks on what it means to prepare yourself. I tell parents this all the time. "Your kids are hearing about sex on the playground. They need to hear it from you, and they need to hear it from the pastor." I make no apologies if I have offended somebody by using the word sex. God created it. God has a plan, to prepare ourselves for marriage and what to do after the marriage.

I'm going to be honest with you. This has been one of the most convicting books I've preached through. Why? Because I'm married. Quite honestly, it can be discouraging. For our young people who will be in this next service, maybe they've lost their purity, or for couples who are going in the midst of chaos, and they're really wondering, "Is this really possible? Can we truly be a relationship like that?" We have people who have gone through a divorce.

This book can be discouraging, but there is always the hope of the gospel, all right? I want you to think about this. I want you to think about life as a garden because that's how the psalm puts it. It says in the book that we're to keep out those little foxes that can come into the garden and start tearing up the garden. There are always going to be foxes that will come into the gardens of our lives and destroy them.

Here is the good news. Jesus is the Master Gardener. He comes in, and he specializes in those gardens. In fact, it's only those who realize, "My garden is messed up," who can actually… TheMaster Gardener comes in. He will replant. He will restore. He will renew. He will recreate. Amen? No matter what has happened to the garden of your life, the gospel is all about Jesus coming and saying, "I want to bring healing. I want to bring wholeness. I want to bring restoration."

He will if we allow him. He will if we will say, "Lord, here is my life. Here is my garden. It's messed up. Come on in." See, that's what the gospel is all about. The gospel does not call people who have their lives together. Jesus didn't say, "I have come to those who have their lives together." The church is not a place that says on the outside, "Only those who have their lives together are welcome here."

Jesus did not come to the righteous. He came to those who realize they need God to come into their lives. They need God to give them righteousness. They are sick with sin. That's what the gospel is. It's hope. Maybe you're here this morning, and your life has been ravaged. Your garden has been ravaged by the little foxes, and you realize, "I need Christ as my Lord and Savior."

Maybe you're a believing couple, and you realize, "There have been foxes that have come into our marriage. They're still there, and they're still destroying it." Listen. Jesus gives you hope. There is no hopeless marriage. There is no hopeless life. None. Jesus gives hope to everyone. The question is, "Will you allow it?"

Let's bow our heads and close our eyes. You're here this morning, and you know you need Jesus. You know you need Christ. You know the garden of your life has been destroyed. The flowers are broken. You know you need grace and you need mercy. You come to Jesus this morning. You turn from your sin and self and place your faith in the saving work of Christ.

That is your only hope. That is our only hope. You turn to Jesus, and you say to Jesus this morning, "I need you. I place my faith in your death, your burial, your resurrection. I give my life to you." When you do that, Jesus will come in. He will restore you. In fact, the Bible says the old will be gone, and the new will come. You will become a new creature in Jesus Christ.

In a moment, we're going to sing a song of invitation. I want to invite you to come forward. By doing that, you'll be saying, "Pastor, I need Christ." I also want you to know you're here today. You're a couple. You're married. Maybe you're a young person, and you've allowed impurity into your relationship. I want you to know Jesus stands with his arms wide open, and he says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." You come to him this morning.

Father, we thank you for this day. We thank you for your love. We thank you for the grace you have demonstrated through your Son Jesus Christ, and we thank you for the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. We pray for this time to glorify you. In Jesus' name, amen.