Why yes, I did pray for that Lord....

You ever have one of those moments with the Lord where he gives you clarity? This morning was one of those moments for me.

It's not unusual for me to spend Sunday mornings asking God, "Why?" I spent 17 years of my adult life waking up almost every Sunday morning at 3:00 am, spending time with the Lord, preparing to lead his people in worship and word.  For 17 years I spent 20 or more hours each week preparing messages from God to share with God's people.  Sundays were my favorite days of the week because I was able to do what I'm called and passionate to do, preach and lead God's people in worship.  So, you can maybe understand my Sunday struggle of questioning God's plan.  

Interestingly, this morning, before I started to spend time with the Lord in his word, I prayed this prayer, "Lord, open my eyes to your reality, not mine."   And he did.

He first reminded me that what I am going through is an answer to a prayer that I have prayed most of my Christian life.  It is the dangerous prayer: "Lord, break me."  Yep, I prayed it often, and still do, just not as much in the last year.  Instead, I pray something like this, "Lord, when are you going to stop breaking me?"  In reality, one must be broken to experience more of God.  I want more of God's anointing, and with that anointing comes brokenness and suffering.  Therefore, I will never stop asking God to break me because I want more of him.

Second, he revealed that the season I am in is a season of "Forgetfulness."  Not that I am going to forget things, but that I am going to feel forgotten and abandoned.  Forgotten and abandoned by God's people, but mostly, God himself.  This season of" Forgetfulness" serves a tremendous purpose in the process of sanctification and becoming more like Jesus.  If you remember, Jesus had this season just before he went to the cross.

This season is characterized by, not only feeling forgotten by God and his people, but also, at times, feeling like all hope has perished.  In this season, we have a choice.  We can turn to God and seek him with all our heart as our safe place and stronghold in a time of trouble, or we can turn to idols and find our needs met in them.  What it comes down to is trust.

There is a time and a season for everything, and that includes a season of feeling forgotten and abandoned.  When you are in that season, cling to God for he is a stronghold for the forgotten and abandoned.  

What I have found is that God has infused in my family's life some great people in this season to help us get through.  Just a reminder that he will never leave us or abandoned us.